Dear Other Mom
DAILY SNACK
So when I tell you that I have one or two hours worth of work
That I do from home every day
While taking care of the kids,
And you ask how I do it,
And I tell you that I sometimes work at night,
And that I sometimes put Irene down for a nap
And turn on the TV for Colum,
And you say,
“Who am I to judge what other people have to do to get through the day,”
I hear judgment.
27 Responses to “Dear Other Mom”
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Themocracy
DAILY SNACK: Dear Other Mom http://bit.ly/4P19IB in which I know what you really mean.
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
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She may be judging you, but I’m filled with admiration. Go, sister.
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For all those moms who work at home with children, prove to be ambitious and single-minded. I think those are admirable qualities indeed.
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I LOVE THIS snippet. So true. I have something in my head and I am going to keep this to link to it.
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I’ve been thinking about this post for a couple of days now. I was having a simillar discusion with one of my Arbonne colleagues a few weeks back. Someone was asking her for tips and tricks about how she built her business (this colleague is very sucessful) and once the advice was dispensed, she was told, “Oh. Well you were at home, it’s so much easier.” My colleague got upset about this… she said to me (well after the fact, I am sorry to say) “I’m sorry, but when you go to work what do you do with your children? Oh – you take them to daycare/sitter. I see. And, do you pay the sitter for that? Oh – you do. I see. And do you know *why* you pay the sitter? I’ll tell you: You pay her because it’s her JOB.”
The biggest crime that “they” have committed against women is dividing us so thouroughly that we are constantly judging and battling against each other. Imagine the world we would live in if all the women got together and started supporting each other. It would be such a different place…
Anyway. I know the two conversations are not the same. I guess I just wanted to say that I hear what you’re saying. I feel your pain. And I, do NOT judge you.
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rebecca Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Thanks.
I just think it’s so funny that even in the process of “not judging” we are really saying, “I think you are failing, but I won’t judge you for it.” What’s that if not judgement? Note that this comment did not come about in the context of my confiding or confessing some guilt — I just mentioned in passing that I sometimes use TV (for my 3.5 year-old, not my 1 year-old) to buy myself some time to work in the afternoons. I did not even hint that this might be a less than perfect arrangement. (And while I used to feel guilty about it, I am starting to really think, screw it, my kids are fine, thankyouverymuch.)
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I like your rules. If nothing is making me crazy, its a good day.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Ohferpetessake, that coats & carseats article was the most ridiculously impractical thing I’ve ever read. I mean, yes, I’ve heard that kids are safer without the bulky snowsuits on, but it’s just unreasonable to expect parents to do all they suggest in that article.
I’ve done everything on your list only I confess my kids never once wore a cloth diaper. Oh well.
There’s a right and a wrong kind of sling? (Nevermind…I probably don’t want to know, do I?)
What a boring world it would be if we all parented in EXACTLY the same way. I look around me and see that many of the people I know have vastly different parenting styles. But I also many wonderful moms and dads raising great kids, even with all the differences in parenting styles.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Bravo! REAL parenting. I think Dr. Spock had it right – Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Well said.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I love this! The truth is nobody can do everything the “right” way and, you know what? It probably doesn’t even matter all that much in the end.
But we all have our sacred cows. For some people it’s organic food, for example. For me, it’s reading. I have done everything on your list and more, but I read to my children everyday, usually more than once. And when people say that they *don’t* generally read to their children, then I guess I do judge them. And then I usually give them a book.
But everything else is totally up for grabs.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Yes! Back off my parenting. I’m not trying to parent YOU.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I think that we’ve all felt like this at some point in the last 15 minutes. I did want to point out that if I’m going to use the tv, I might as well use it as a baby sitter, right? Why use it if I have time and/or really want to sit down and read or do puzzles with the boys? I might as well use it as the babysitter.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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great post! I tried to do the coat off/coat on thing this year and now my 3 year old insists on NOT wearing her coat in a freezing cold car. It’s very cold here. I wish she would just forget and go back to wearing jackets already. Anyway….
you’re totally right. Moms are SO hard on each other and it drives me nuts. Insecurity I guess, everyone just wants to feel like they’re doing it right and unfortunately, wants to tell others how to do it the “right” way.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Oh my goodness, Emma, you used THAT sling???? LOL
I totally know what you mean. For me the judgement runs around OUR CHOICE to homeschool. Why is that anyone else’s business??? My kids are happy, well adjusted little hooligans… sigh.
Your poorly raised hooligans can hang around MY poorly raised hooligans any time.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Emma – thanks for putting a voice of sanity out there! I think your rules make perfect sense (and anyway I thought those coats would provide extra-padding and protection if you were ever involved in an accident).
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Here’s a
((HUG))
and an
AMEN!!!
for you.
Motherhood has made me realize what a hideously judgemental person I was and continue to be…
Keep on trusting you instincts and loving your babies. that’s all that matters.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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You know what, I never even thought of that one – I guess it’s just been drilled into my head that we MUST read to them everyday, it’s become part of the woodwork. Like teeth brushing. So I don’t know what I would do if I met someone that I knew didn’t read to their kids. Food for thought.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I totally judge you, you homeschooler. My judgment is that you are a superstar, and I bow to you. For I would go insane if I did what you d0. Bravo, lady. And let’s get our hooligans together when the weather is warmer, yes?
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I think to be that perfect parent you have to split yourself into at least four. I gave up. I’m gonna do it my way even if it is wrong.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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There are NO right answers.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I wish there was lots of right answers
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Pffft. You are crazy. You run around like a maniac all day, and STILL have to do all the regular house stuff that I do!
Definitely with getting the hooligans together! I like that idea a lot.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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Exactly! It’s not that we’re all doing it wrong, there’s just so many ways to do it right. (And a few ways to do it wrong, too, of course.)
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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You do what’s right for you, in your circumstances. Sounds good to me.
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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If there was only one way to parent, there would only be one book on parenting. I have yet to find the book called “The Rules”. Until that happens, I’m doing it my way. I’ll pick which advice works for me and if you don’t like the way I do, too bad.
Good for you for standing up for yourself!
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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I keep meaning to tell you, I really like this post. I’m just the world’s worst commenter and blogger lately!
Which means I am doing it wrong too. Heh
This comment was originally posted on Where there’s a Willer…
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