March Break is the perfect time to be a sightseer in your own city. (Crowds and all … but what can you do?) The CN Tower has some special activities on during the week and is offering their everything-included Total Tower ticket for $25 (down from the regular $33).

The kids and I will be attending the Meet and Greet With Dora on Tuesday morning courtesy of Mega Blocks and Mom Central Canada, which should appease both Colum’s desire to visit the CN Tower and Irene’s budding Dora-mania.

March Break deets from the CN Tower web site:

March Break Adventures at the CN Tower

Special admission offer: During March Break purchase the CN Tower’s do-it-all Total Tower ticket for only $25 (including taxes)* Save up to 30%.

Monday March 15

Battle Strikers Ready, Rev, Battle!  Conquer others in the Battle Strikers Top Tournaments by Mega Bloks, with amazing prizes to be won!

Tuesday March 16

Meet and Greet with Dora 10:30am, 11:45am, 1pm and 2:15pm Don’t forget your camera.  Activity sheets and prizes to be won.  Meet and greets are in the Party Room and are only 30 minutes in length.  First come first serve Build Towers, Dora and more with Mega Bloks.  Prizes to be won.

Wednesday March 17

Meet and Greet with SpongeBob SquarePants 10:30am, 11:45am, 1pm and 2:15pm Don’t forget your camera.  Prizes to be won.  Meet and greets are in the Party Room and are only 30 minutes in length.  First come first serve

Thursday and Friday March 18 & 19

Make your own jewellery with beads that change colour (Activity available all week)

All activities are included with a CN Tower admission. Open daily 9am-10pm

*Admission offer: $25 Total Tower ticket includes Look Out, Glass Floor and Sky Pod, The Height of Excellence movie, Himalamazon Motion Theatre Ride (must be 107cm tall), ticket applies to child (4 years of age or older), adult or senior admission; valid March 13-21, 2010; may not be combined with any other offer; subject to change and availability.  Tickets must be purchased onsite.
© 2010 Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. Nickelodeon, Nick Jr., SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc.  SpongeBob SquarePants created by Stephen Hillenburg.

I need to take a course of hardcore antibiotics to treat a serious, painful and potentially disfiguring infection in my face. I need to take this medication and it is absolutely forbidden that I should breastfeed while doing so. Irene is over 16 months old now, so there’s really no point in trying to keep up my milk supply in the meantime. It’s over; it needs to be and of that I have no doubt. I am haunted only by the kind of quasi-guilt that we all tend to regarding physical afflictions: the feelings of inadequacy about a slower metabolism or a bigger shoe size or infertility. These things are not subject to our conscious control and yet we still somehow feel as though we are to blame — even though we know better.

Colum was only two months older than Irene when he was fully weaned. In fact, a friend asked just the other day if I cried when he stopped breastfeeding. I had to laugh because I hadn’t at all. I had just as wonderful and fulfilling a breastfeeding relationship with Colum as I did with Irene, but it had run its course. At 18 months we found ourselves enjoying a short morning nurse and then we’d miss the odd day and then we didn’t need it anymore. (Irene was still nursing 3 to 4 times a day.) I can’t even remember the last time I breastfed Colum. It was absolutely the easiest and most painless transition and I couldn’t imagine weaning a child any other way.

So, yes, Colum was only two months older than Irene when he was weaned, but it’s not about age. Really, age has nothing to do with it. It has everything to do with a loving and nurturing relationship having to be severed prematurely by an outside force. Irene loved nursing so much and I expected her to continue longer than Colum did. (Even though I was limiting her feeds and gradually, gently guiding her toward a long-term goal of weaning.) I really cherished that special time together, the physical closeness I could offer her that her brother couldn’t threaten to take away, and the profound sense of security being able to nurse offered an increasingly independent and adventurous toddler.

Conversely, when that breastfeeding relationship is no longer fulfilling to either the mother or the child — be that at 3 weeks or 8 months or 3 years — then it makes sense to end it. I am not grieving the loss of some ideal of greatly-extended breastfeeding in and of itself. We had a wonderful breastfeeding relationship for over 16 months and for that I am exceedingly grateful. I am also keenly aware that for many it seems absurd to continue breastfeeding for that long in the first place. Maybe it is for some people, but this is really the sweetest time to breastfeed in many respects. The fact that it is completely optional means that you don’t have to worry about being apart from your baby all day or all night — you can just pick up where you left off later. You can revel in your child’s waning babyhood as you are still able to offer all the reassurance they need with a simple, natural, physical act. You can even do away with the nursing bras if you want to and relegate all breastfeeding to your own home. (Read greater wardrobe flexibility, not shame about feeding in public because I am all about that.) You can even enjoy firm and full breasts without all that leaking and engorgement.

As I cried last night, I realized how many feeds were about me just trying to grab a few extra minutes of shut-eye in the morning, or desperate attempts to get her to fall asleep, or just moments where I retreated into my own head space. When did I last really spend this time with her? So I got myself together and focused on the moment. I told Irene how much I love her and why I am so proud of her, hoping those words might be able to trigger the same sense of love and security in the future. I held her close. I watched her happily nursing, completely oblivious that it would be her last time. I put her to bed and then I took my fist pill.

This was last night and we’re fine, of course. Thank god I managed to better separate the nursing from the sleeping just a couple weeks ago, so that is not as big an issue as it could have been. This morning was a little rocky as she grabbed at my shirt wanting to cuddle in bed with me. Instead, we cuddled with Colum and watched a cartoon on TV while drinking milk from a sippy cup before gorging on Cheerios and strawberries. I think strawberries may be the nipple of the berry family. She was a bit cranky going down for her nap without a feed, too, and generally pretty clingy all evening. Her dad put her to bed with a lullabye and I got to read Colum his bedtime story. (If you want to call a book about the ROM’s dinosaur collection a story.) And while my breasts certainly feel full there has not been any pain (yet — fingers crossed).

So my heart is still heavy for now, but I’m trying to embrace the opportunity this has afforded me to reflect on our breastfeeding relationship. And, of course, to share it all with you.

(Image courtesy Mel ‘GW’ Stampa on Flickr.)

DAILY SNACK

My husband offered to make dinner last night.

I hesitated.

It was already after six, I warned,

We needed something fast, not fancy.

He assured me that he could do it.

At 7:30 pm we sat down to provolone topped chicken breasts,

Served on a crispy potato  rosti,

With a creamy dijon sauce,

An avacodo, tomato and baby lamb’s lettuce salad,

And a perfect stack of julienned carrots.

Saying “I told you so,” never tasted so good.

DAILY SNACK

“You see this penny, Mom?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it has the queen on one side,

And then you turn it over,

And there’s poison ivy.”

“Those are actually maple leaves, Colum.”

“No, poison ivy.”

“No, I’m sorry sweetie, but those are maple leaves.”

“Well, maple leaves grow in poison ivy,

So we’ll just say it’s poison ivy.”

“Okay, fine.”

And then, half an hour later,

He thought he spotted dinosaur fossils in the driveway.

I showed him that the fossil was actually just some dried mud the car dragged in.

As I’m strapping him into his carseat, I say,

“You know Colum, you might want to be an archaeologist when you grow up.”

“Maa-om, I want to be a photographer.”

“Yes, I know that. But do you even know what an archaeologist does?”

“What?”

“He digs up dinosaur bones.”

“That’s a paleontologist.”

“Oh. I think you’re right. Never mind then.”

Colum will turn four in less than two months. Image courtesy of Coined For Money.

]]> http://playgroundconfidential.com/2010/03/08/conversations-with-colum/feed/ 1 http://playgroundconfidential.com/2010/03/05/spring-almost-sprung/ http://playgroundconfidential.com/2010/03/05/spring-almost-sprung/#comments Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:31:46 +0000 rebecca http://playgroundconfidential.com/?p=1635

DAILY SNACK

Mud on brand new shiny running shoes,

Walking on ledges,

And running up and down side streets.

Coffee enjoyed outside.

Shopping at the further store because I feel like walking,

Children running.

Noses running and eyes watering, too.

A taste of Spring, for sure.