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This Just In

Colum is obsessed with YouTube clips of old Cookie Monster numbers. This is his Dad’s doing and I’m not usually a fan of any lit screen media for toddlers, but sometimes you’ve just got to roll with the punches. They’re pretty charming, too. Check it out:

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Kanye Inspires

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve posted and I want to apologize to both my devoted readers for the delay. I’ve been busy and haven’t had the time to draft well-thought out opinions on black-focused schools or Bisphenol-A.

I’ve been inspired tonight, though, by Kanye West. What most of us would do in silent prayer, or at a gravesite or while lighting a candle in church, Kanye does in an acceptance speech at the Grammys. He expresses his love for his recently departed mother and vows to become as great as she would want. And that, my two dear readers, is truly the essence of blogging. My innermost thoughts and desires should be published here in real time without benefit of censor or editrix. That’s what the people want. So, I will develop some mature thoughts about books and current events and issues of especial concern to parents. But I’ll try to keep posting during the drawn-out gestational periods those thoughts seem to need.

Picture this: My 21 month old son has never had a haircut and he’s sporting a sort of natural mullet. His fine strawberry blonde hair has grown slowly in the front and falls neatly halfway down his forehead. It then wisps and curls out in all directions in the back, snaking down his neck and sticking straight out. He has, in other words, hockey hair. Appropriately, then, he was decked out in a sweater depicting hockey sticks, skates, a helmet and a net, and jogging pants when a Guns N’ Roses CD started playing. As soon as the first chords of “Welcome to the Jungle” sounded, Colum launched into a frantic dance consisting of countless quick steps and crazy spinning. Before long he was lurching around the room like a drunk and desperately trying to regain enough balance to keep dancing. I guess you can take the rusted-out and broken-down cars off the front lawn, but you can’t beat genetics.

One last thing. The Grammy Awards were not only a source of inspiration thanks to Kanye West. They also featured performances by both Leslie Feist and Amy Winehouse which is a boon for both real artists and real-looking women. That makes me happy.

(Photo courtesy the New York Daily News.)

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Public Fun Funds Fiasco

I’ve expressed my dismay over the costs of recreating at Toronto’s community centres before. I was especially irked, then, when a little bird (thanks Ange) tipped me off about Parks and Rec’s proposed fees increase. Link here for the details, but the gist is that the cost of all Parks and Rec programs will increase by 20% over the next year, and 66% after seven years. It has been dubbed the “Everyone gets to play” policy because part of those fee increases will be used to provide free programming for those who can demonstrate a financial need. Still, I don’t like it.

People like me, for one, will neither qualify for the free programs, nor be able to easily afford the increased fees. I worry, too, that many people who would make use of universally free programs will not bother applying for a free spot. And even the people who are readily able to afford the extra expense will have to wonder whether their money might be better spent at a private gym or on classes held elsewhere.

There’s a bigger point here, too. As my husband writes on behalf of the Eye Weekly editorial board, the value of Community Centres and other Parks and Rec programs is that they are universal and publicly funded. As a society, we are demonstrating that athletics and recreation are important for people of all ages and all walks of life. Like public libraries, and public schools and public parks, community centre programs should be as close to free as possible. Public services that are run on user fees should be geared toward the sort of thing that we want to discourage, like excessive water use or non-recyclable trash. (This is not always the case, unfortunately.) Even when the public purse is near bankrupt, and even in the face of school closures, you will never hear talk of instituting a tuition for public school children. This is the principle our community centres should run on. Pare down programs, sacrifice operating hours, if you must, but do not under any circumstances keep raising fees. Do not price the public out of a publicly run service.

For more info, check out an interview with city councilor Joe Mihevc on the Spacing Wire.

There will be two public meetings where residents can raise questions and concerns:

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 from 7 to 9 p.m.
Elmbank Community Centre (10 Rampart Rd.)
Wellesley Community Centre (495 Sherbourne St.)

Thursday, January 17, 2008 from 7 to 9 p.m.
North York Civic Centre Council Chambers (5100 Yonge St.)
Scarborough Civic Centre Committee Rooms 1 and 2 (150 Borough Dr.)

(Image courtesy of turbosquid.com.)

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I’m Narrowing My Focus To Serve You Better

I had hoped that I could throw together a recommended family events page, but I cannot. Compiling listings and publishing accurate information is a much bigger job than I realized. Instead, let me reference a few well-established Toronto-area family events pages and then I’ll just blog about stuff I like as I come across it.

First, Today’s Parent has an excellent Toronto events directory you can pick up at community centres and libraries, those kinds of places, or just link here. You can also check out toronto.com’s family guide, KiddingAroundToronto.com, or Everything To Do With Kids.

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Oh Crap. Can We Start This Year Again?

Toy BoxWe’re well into the New Year, but I can’t quite seem to shake the holiday haze. Despite having had a good week to settle back into our routine, everyone’s sleep schedule is still off kilter and many of Colum’s programs are still between sessions. The result: a very happy and easily adjustable toddler and a frazzled mom. The truth really is that as long as he gets enough food, sleep and attention, Colum’s good to go. Having fallen behind in house work and finances and my writing projects (like this blog for one), I’ve completely lost focus and direction and am running around like some headless fowl. I know I’m not the only one. Here’s a good account of how getting back to a simple routine can make a harried mom happy.

I have three partially written blog drafts on my desktop, two versions of my resume half done, and scraps of paper with bits of prose scattered everywhere. I keep doing three quarter of the dishes, so my kitchen is never clean, and leaving heaps of clean yet crumpled clothes lying about. And the toys! Trying to sort out which toys Colum’s outgrown from those he still plays with and deciding what’s worth keeping and what to toss is a nightmare! Nobody told me that parenting meant so much sifting and sorting of toys and clothes and gadgets. And heaven forbid Colum should ever catch me trying to pack away an old rattle or push toy; it instantly becomes his most favoured possession and I lose all faith in my toy-sorting criteria.

So I’m taking a couple days to re-schedule my hours and I hope to find a few extra per week for work that doesn’t involve wiping jam off every available surface. Here’s to a happier new year in the coming weeks.

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Too Late for This Year, But …

Okay. I’m leaving for the big in-law dinner in the burbs any second now, but I want to share one little idea. I’m proud of this one.

Get your kids to make wrapping paper by drawing on craft paper! This makes the little one’s feel involved and is so very sweet and it’s eco-friendly to boot.

Also, I’m learning that being Santa is as much work as it is fun. But it brings back that old Christmas-y excitement of my childhood and I love being a mom at this time of year.

Merry, merry Christmas! I’ll be back in a couple days with the post-game analysis.

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Trees, Trees, Trees

Growing up, we always got a real tree, but never more than one week before Christmas. (And often not more than a day or two before.) There was, therefore, a long-standing tradition of scrambling around, from one parking lot to the next, searching for any remaining trees. My husband and I have more or less carried on that tradition, but without the luxury of a vehicle, since we’ve been married.

So when my mother-in-law asked whether we wanted to drive out of the city and cut down our tree this year, I was skeptical. It was more than two weeks early, and I just didn’t know what Christmas tree hunting will be like without that special holiday desperation in the air. Figuring that it’s only fair for my husband to get to indulge in his childhood holiday traditions (no matter how predictable the outcome) from time to time, I acquiesced. And it was okay.

The tree farm was a good hour’s drive from the city core, and the smallest tree starts at $45. But our tree is beautiful and Colum got to spend the better part of a day getting it. Driving into the “country”, trudging through the snow, “helping” Grandpa saw the tree down, and watching the farm worker truss it makes for a real experience. Whether searching the city streets or choosing a tree to cut down, the point is to make a true occasion out of it.

Post Script: We have decorated our tree now, and the ornamentation is delightfully bottom heavy. At one point there were five shiny balls all hanging from one branch. They have since been dispersed during the daily ornament shuffle, and I’m predicting at least a few will turn up during spring cleaning.

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Season’s Greetings

I’m going to have to keep holiday hours in the coming weeks here at Playground Confidential. Christmas is approaching and my weekends and evenings are full of festive obligations. I’m also picking up extra shifts to help staff company parties and pay Santa’s bills. (It’s amazing how quickly a 19-month old grasps the idea of a fat bearded man in a red suit arriving via reindeer-drawn sleigh to bring him presents.) I will try to post as often as possible because I’m sure there will be lots of holiday-fueled topics I’ll be eager to write on. I probably won’t be able to mix in as many longer, thoughtful posts as I would normally. And who has time to read more than a paragraph or two at this time of year anyway!

(Picture courtesy of www.lycos.co.uk)

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Sick Daze

I put Colum to sleep tonight and tried not to look around at all. Even though my attention was firmly affixed to the new episode of Gossip Girl (such a guilty pleasure), it still felt like my home had been hit by a freakishly localized tornado. And then come under attack by robbers and vandals.

Last week I wrote about the importance of routine, and this week I can testify to the chaos brought about by ditching your routine for five days straight. Colum is fine, of course. Better than ever, in fact. It’s the state of my apartment and my own mental equilibrium that are the main victims here. It was a fever that kept us inside all day Friday. It then kept Colum and Dad home on Saturday (while I was at work). By Sunday the fever had given way to diarrhea (yay!) and a rash-covered back. On Monday morning, Colum’s spirits were returning (if not his appetite), but the rash had spread to his stomach and chest. Our doctor couldn’t squeeze him in for a couple days, but my internet research suggests this is probably a mild case of roseola and nothing to worry about. Still, it’s cold and snowy and he could be contagious, so we stay in. By today I am completely stir crazy. We head over to my parent’s home where I know my brother is recovering from last week’s U of T essay madness. We eat lunch and loll about and nap and snack and then come home and read and eat dinner and pull many, many books off many, many shelves. Looking up from Graham Greene’s The Power And The Glory, Colum says, “No pic-ers.” He then puts that one book neatly back on the shelf and we get ready for bed.

I need my days broken into bite-sized pieces, it seems. If we are doing something in between breakfast and lunch, then tidying up is part of the breakfast routine. When we just hang around, so do the dishes. And so does the laundry and the rest of the mess. A sick boy needs extra attention, though, and that’s excuse enough for me.

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Pencil This In

Routine. The word has connotations of rigid time lines and endless drudgery. But that’s just me, I know. For many people routine means order and predictability. It means comfort and stability. And for kids it is absolutely necessary.

It’s true. Even as a newborn Colum ate and slept at regular intervals; he was active and alert and fussy and cranky at the same time each day. I didn’t fully realize this, though, until he was nearly four months old and I began leaving him with my husband one evening a week. Forced to make careful note of his schedule, I was shocked to discover he was set in a predictable routine. Even more surprising was how liberating that was for me! No longer did I have the luxury of, everything-else-be-damned, spending the whole day catching up on housework, or writing, or reading, or watching T.V. I began scheduling bits of housework into Colum’s nap time and soon wound up scheduling everything! I don’t always actually follow my schedule, but I don’t fall into a state of anxiety-induced paralysis whenever I want to get something done either. Rather than consulting an ever growing “To Do” list, I simply work at whatever it is I set down for any given time slot.

But enough about me. Every parenting book and parenting expert will tell you that children thrive on routine. Infants do well on a steady feeding and sleeping routine, but don’t need much else. Certainly they need stimulation, but their other activities don’t have to be as predictable. As toddler-dom approaches and the number of naps falls to two and then one, you’ll want to add some familiar activities to the daily routine. Here in Canada, where we have a 12 month maternity leave, many tots enter daycare around one year and will have ample routine built into their days. For those of us who do not return to a regular full-time job, however, it can be hard finding the right balance.

Here’s what I do. I aim for two outings a day. Community resources are indispensable for this. Every other Monday evening there is a drop-in at the Early Years Centre, Tuesday mornings are Kindertots, Wednesdays are Family Time at the library, and we’re back at the Early Years Centre Thursday evenings. We also go to a park most days. (In extreme weather we might forgo this for a trip to the grocery store or simply stay in, but kids need to run around outdoors in all seasons.) We fill in the rest of the week with social outings and errands. This still leaves a goodly amount of time for unstructured play in the home. “Colum, Mommy’s working/cooking/cleaning/folding. Go play with your blocks/cars/balls/puzzle.”

One final warning. Don’t overdo it. While kids do need routine, there is a certain parental type that takes that to mean they can go ahead and schedule every waking moment of their children’s lives. Kids grow older and their needs change and we all need to learn how to be flexible. Sometimes that means being able to be spontaneous and creative and adventurous.