DAILY SNACK
Here’s a thought that can serve no purpose other than to stir up trouble,
But I’ve already thought it,
So here goes.
Doesn’t it bother you working parents when stay-at-home parents get all up in arms about the government instituting full-day kindergarten?
Doesn’t it bother you when they shake their fists and say that four and five year olds are too young to be in a structured, institutional evironment for six and a half hours at a time?
When they insist that the best thing for their children is to spend most of their day hanging out at home and at the park and tagging along with mom or dad?
(But not for yours, of course, because you do what you feel is right for yours and I’ll do what I feel is right for mine and there’s no judgement at all. Your kids are used to being away from home anyway, so it’s no big deal for them. But shouldn’t there be choices for parents who really love stay at home with their kids?)
Just asking because it would bother me.
Maybe that’s because I know that in choosing to not pursue typical full-time employment I do consider where I want my children spending the bulk of their time. The truth is that I want to keep them close because I think that is best for them. (I also kind of loathe keeping 9 – 5 office hours and working for anyone else in general, so that tips the scales too.)
But, really, an extra couple hours of kindergarten at age four? When other children have been in full-time daycare from 12 months of age or younger and seem perfectly happy, well-adjusted and capable?
No, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.
* * *
And just to be clear on my personal preferences regarding child care and full-time work, let me say this. While full-time day care is not my first preference, if anyone were to see fit to donate the services of a part-time caregiver I would take them up on it in a heartbeat.
In a heartbeat.
Which is not to say that I actually want anyone to pay for my child care, but rather to illustrate that while the decision to not place my children in full-time day care is not based purely on financial considerations, my current lack of a regular part-time child care solution is one hundred per cent about money.
8 replies on “Throw Some Oil on That Fire”
In Mothers and Others, renowned sociobiologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy relies on masses of anthropological evidence to show that mothers in ‘traditional’ cultures rely on alloparents — aunts, grandmothers, siblings and community members — for child care. It’s a socially constructed myth that it is “natural” for the biological mother to provide all the care for her child.
I’m not personally a big fan of all-day kindergarten because I think the days are too long for little kids. But I acknowledge the reality that most parents in this society, including mothers, work full time outside the home as a matter of economic necessity as well as personal choice (and no, mothers who work long hours as lawyers, academics or factory workers are not “selfish” for pursuing their own interests and/or needs). Affordable, safe, developmentally sound child care and early childhood eduction are necessities. The question of whether and how much this should be sponsored by the state is a legitimate subject for debate, but that debate does not extend legitimately to whether it is “proper” for women/children to be outside the home during the day.
When the time comes, I may or may not send K to all-day kindergarten (I didn’t go to kindergarten at all, and Peter and I have pre-arranged our lives so we can both work from home much of the time in order to be with our kid), but I’m not going to argue against its existence. And if K gets to spend time playing, learning and socializing with kids like yours, it will probably tip the balance in favour of sending her.
[Like so many other selfish mothers, I’m writing this comment away from home, having left my sweet little daughter with her allo(grand)mother so I can go teach.]
Don’t you worry, my kids will be there :) (Although no full-day will likely be available to us until Irene hit Grade 1. Fantastic timing.)
But I guess the question, then, is if institutional form of early child care (both day cares and kindergarten) can stand in as alloparents. Can’t these teachers provide a nurturing environment for our kids? And why would 6.5 hours be too long for a 4 year old, then?
But great point about it being a socially constructed myth that the mother has to be all and end all to her children. In fact, it’s only recently that women stopped being housewives and started being stay-at-home moms. Child care stopped being part and parcel of taking care of a home and a family and became the defining role.
Big sigh. Yep. So all I can say is that I think I like all-day every-day K for my kid. He’s literally the youngest you could be to enter JK, born dec 31st. And he adores school. And he’s trying really hard to keep up with the older kids. And most importantly, he’s loving it, i think a lot of that love being fir the structure.
And so every other day he’s there, and the rest he’s at daycare. Which is okay but not structured enough for him. So as a parent who works full time outside the house, who has a kid who adores school, it’s the right fit for us. Totally not about money for us (barely saves us any right now). But that’s just us. I won’t tell you what’s best for your kids, people. Not my job.
Thank you for this article….You are right though there are parents like me that have to pay for part-time childcare so that I have time to make a living…I personally am in favor of “Full time kindergarden” It would personally save me thousands of dollars which would really come in handy…
The full day program has not come to our neighbourhood so no luck for me…:(
I do feel blessed though that I was able to be home with my children until they were both about 3. I work from home now which has it’s pluses for pick up and drop off…
Hmmm … since K and Irene are virtually the same age, I guess they’ll be missing all-day kindergarten together (that is, if you’re still in the ‘hood). :)
Institutional child care / early childhood education cannot possibly measure up to the idealized model of stay-at-home parental (or alloparental) nurturing. Of course, neither can real life parenting measure up either. The perfect, apron-strings-and-butterfly-wings childhood at home is an invention. I know this well, even after having grown up at home in a close to ideal environment. Sure it was wonderful, but most of my colleagues and acquaintances seemed to have equally fond memories of pre-school.
I figure the real object should be finding ways to raise our kids that do them as much good and as little harm as possible under whatever circumstances they are raised in. It is dishonest for pundits to contrast the alleged ills of daycare and kindergarten with idealized childcare environments that are inaccessible or can be sustained only by women giving up their entire lives to the unpaid project of childcare. And although institutional daycare has been common in North America for a generation, I haven’t seen any studies showing that kids raised in day care turn out any differently as adults from kids raised at home. The things that *do* have an effect, however, are socioeconomic class, access to public libraries, parental educational levels, etc. Anyone who really cares about the well-bring of children would focus on fixing those inequalities rather than demonizing parents who put their kids in daycare.
Here, here. I couldn’t agree more about working toward solving the basic problem which is all about class inequality in the end. The best way to help the poor (I know, I know the “underprivileged”) is to find ways to ensure that everybody has the opportunity to make enough money and the rest will take care of itself.
For those that don’t have family to jump in and help..finding childcare must be a daunting and hellish predicament. It gets really pricey too when it is half days this and that.
And yeah…great point about the sahm replacing the housewife. Too true…when did the child become the total focus and why do we get guilted out when they are not.
I grew up in the UK with no half day this or that and don’t remember the angst of having any other choice in the matter.
So I don’t really like it being looked at as daycare..for the UK it just is school starting.
IF the Ontario government can actually carry this out (not sure how entrenched the full-day structure is for you in BC) then I suspect that’s just what it will be after a few years: just school starting.
As a stay-at-home dad I know said about half-day kindergarten, “It’s not the kids I’m worried about, it’s me. We’re not having any more children, so this is my last chance to just be with them.” Now THAT I totally get.