Snooki’s pregnant again! … and nobody cares

For Snooki, the only thing worse than the hail storm of ridicule and condemnation that rained down on her when news of her pregnancy broke in 2012 must be indifference. So guess what? She just confirmed her second pregnancy to Us Weekly and all we have for her is a collective shrug. The worst thing I could find written about it just trotted out some tired old orange Ewok jokes. YAWN.

This is because second babies don’t get any respect. After the world is done gawking at our transformation from young sex symbol to mother and after we’ve been showered with enough hooded towels and butt cream to last a decade, nobody cares. Of course you’re going to have another baby now. That’s what you do. If you want people to care, try deciding to not have another baby. Suddenly everybody and their delivery guy will have an opinion on the state of your womb. But if you actually go ahead and have a second baby half the people you know will  barely even notice. True story.

I guess what I’m saying is, if what you want is attention, absolutely go ahead and get knocked up. But then you can’t pull that stunt a second time. The second baby needs to be borne out of love and/or a reckless disregard for birth control but it doesn’t even matter because nobody will care either way. UNLESS the second baby is just you getting warmed up and you are trying to grab headlines, Octomom styles. But, seriously. There are way less exhausting ways to get noticed.

Check out this quick and dirty compare-and-contrast list of reactions to Snooki’s pregnancies. The things that were said about Snooki the first time were way, way worse than what I have here, too. But there’s only so much digging in the Snooki gossip rag archives I could stomach first thing on a Monday morning.

1st pregnancy:

“I kinda feel like her original reaction might not have been so G-rated.” Glamour

“Snooki admitted she was concerned. “‘S–t, I’ve been drinking!’ Celebuzz

“I have different priorities now,” says Snooki who is mostly known for being a drunken hot mess party girl!” Reality Tea

2nd pregnancy:

“Aww! Snooki (a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi) is pregnant again!” Glamour

“Congratulations to the happy family!” Celebuzz

“If another Snooki & Jionni creation is going to result in this cuteness…we hope Nicole has twelve more!  :) ” Reality Tea

Like I said, yawn.

Welcome to motherhood, Snooki. Now that you’ve demonstrated more restraint and responsibility than, say, the mayor of Toronto, your spotlight’s about to go out.

Unless you really go full pregnant bride and New Jersey outlet mall-chic on that Great Gatsby wedding. That we want to see.