I checked my email this morning and, hidden halfway through a message about t-ball practice, were the words every parent dreads to hear: “The team-snack schedule is up.” Am I right or am I right!? Fine, I’ve been parenting from behind a back-lit screen long enough to know that many people seem to like team snacks just fine. They buy into mythological ideals like “nutrition” and “community”. They believe there is some sort of correlation between parental anguish and a happy childhood. They are delusional.
Here’s the real lowdown on team snacks.
Myth: Team snacks help foster a sense of community and team spirit.
Reality*: After a grueling hour and a half of doodling in the dirt while waiting for her turn at bat and then letting ground balls dribble all the way out to right field where they’ll finally be picked up and thrown short of first base, your child will line up to shake hands with the opposing team. Then there’s a team meeting during which a good coach will make everybody feel great about the game they just played. THIS IS WHERE the team spirit and community happens. Finally, the kids will spill off the playing field and make off with whatever snacks are on offer, dispersing in all directions while they gobble them up.
Myth: Teams snacks are important for the health and nutrition of the children.
Reality: You’ll probably forget to feed your own kids before the game because you’ll be too busy remembering that last week Wendy brought yogurt tubes, granola bars AND juice boxes and you only have watermelon and Dad’s oatmeal cookies (and are those even peanut-free?). So you rush off to Costco and spend $40 on assorted packaged snacks and pretty much guarantee your kids will have ruined their appetite for dinner after the game. Because heaven forbid school-aged kids ever go a couple hours without eating something.
Myth: It’s easier! You only have to provide snacks a couple times a season.
Reality: Even if you only have snack duty twice in a season, that still leaves several weeks for the pressure and anxiety to mount. What kind of a team is this? Is it an “organic-only, homemade-from-scratch, heavy on the flax” kind of team? Or is it a “juice boxes and chocolate granola bars for everybody and lots of it!” kind of team? Please god, don’t let it be both. You couldn’t care less about what’s best for the kids, you just want to get through the season with the minimal amount of food politics. Please let it be over! And what about siblings? Do you bring enough for everybody and (quite literally) their brother? Is it all right for your other kids to mooch a snack after games? What’s the protocol?! And I haven’t even touched upon allergies. You know what’s actually easy? Everybody feed your own damn kids. That’s what.
Myth: The kids like it.
Reality: They expect it, is more like it. After a couple seasons of parents falling all over themselves trying to impress each other with team snacks, of course the kids expect it. If there were never any team snacks at all, they would be just as happy. If they suddenly disappeared, they would get over it within a week. Sure, they “like it.” I’ve also been on the receiving end of more than one, “Is that all?!” as I handed out watermelon slices and that’s it after a game. It seems like the kids would really like it if they got bags and chips and doughnuts. Should we all agree to take turns funding that?
Even though I truly and deeply believe that team snacks can suck it, I still don’t know how to get out of them. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a snack schedule to check.
* Reality is a highly subjective construct. Don’t make me get metaphysical on you. Your reality might be different than mine. Maybe your kids play soccer instead of baseball. Maybe team snacks are the highlight of your year. I don’t live in that world.
6 replies on “Team snacks can suck it”
I couldn’t agree more! The whole snack thing drives me crazy. I always only bring fruit and am super unpopular. Isn’t the point that kids get out and get active? Not that they come and doodle around and expect a cupcake at the end of barely doing anything (no offence kids!). It’s ridiculous. I don’t remember ANY snacks in my activities as a child. You nailed it.
I wholeheartedly hate team snacks. Aside from the reasons you laid out above, I can’t stand the types of foods the other parents bring and hand out to my kids. Handi snacks?! really?! Cookies, candy, cupcakes?! How about some fruit, or a string cheese? or something that is actually a food? For now though, I just grin and bear it and remind myself that this phase of youth sports will be over before sooner than I can imagine.
my daughter plays soccer and there is a snack but everyone just brings a big box of popsicles. The kids are hot and it keeps it simple. (and there are always extra for the siblings and other parents because the teams are so small) :)
I have 4 kids. The oldest played baseball the other 3 all played soccer. My second oldest also did dance. He danced for 1.5hrs. I did not have to supply a snack just water. We’ve supplied a bag of oranges quartered as snack to baseball & soccer over the years season after season. The only complaint I have is the kids don’t have place to wash their hands and stick their filthy hands into bowl grab the oranges. Not all the oranges get eaten. Who wants to eat the left over oranges touched by filthy hands. They get thrown out. Because of this I think snack is a waste. I agree that kids should play any practice or game without snack. I have picky eaters, most often they have a snack at home after games.
Wow so cynical! Stop being so competitive and over-thinking the mommy competition and judgement. It all doesn’t have to be that hard.
Just be a part of it (it IS actually easier, the kids DO enjoy sitting with their friends and it gives parents time to chat- but maybe you bunch aren’t into that!!) and bring something you are happy with … And stop caring what you PERCEIVE others might think.
Thank you Heather. I’ll add to your lone dissenting voice. I’ve never felt any huge pressure to compete, the whole idea of mommy wars is nonexistent in my world. I do my own thing, provide some snacks of my choice and go about my business.