Can we stop pretending that kids need more tech?

Image adapted from Flickr under the Creative Commons license.

“As a parent, I really resent anything that drives my kids to a computer,” I said. I was participating in a hypothetical group exercise at a social media/PR/marketing workshop a couple weeks ago. Our task was to create a media pitch for a charitable campaign. We were discussing the idea of incorporating a computer game or other digital element that would appeal to children.

This is a very popular idea, let me tell you. My inbox is flooded with pitches and press releases promoting apps, games, tech gadgets and online safety for kids. The summer reading program at the freaking public library had an optional online element, for crying out loud. “The kids want tech”, everybody cries. “And so they shall have it.”

Hold the eff up.

We can’t, as a society, get behind the idea of affordable, subsidized childcare. Nor, in Toronto, can we manage to provide subsidized housing that doesn’t have a fifteen-year wait list. But I am constantly hearing choruses of cheering when it comes to efforts to make all classrooms “smart” and to provide laptops for all the students. In an Ipsos Reid poll reported by the Globe and Mail, around 86% of Canadians were in favour of more spending on technology in the schools. Yes, let us sink boatloads of money into technology that will be obsolete in two years time while there are students that can barely afford basic school supplies, kindergarten class rooms are overflowing and teachers are forced into strike positions every time their agreement is up.

Sure, there should be some computer access in schools. Clearly, teachers should be able to pull up things from the internet and project them on a screen as teaching aids. Shared computers for research purpose for older students and access to appropriate technology for students with learning disabilities also make sense. But so does learning from books and writing stuff down on paper like we have done from the beginning of time (or the advent of the printing press, whatever). Those are skills that we still need to have, believe it or not. And I cannot for the life of me see how reading and writing on a backlit screen is in any better than using paper. If anything, it’s worse. We actually learn better when we write by hand.

But don’t kids need to learn how to use technology?

Right. Because the only reason I’m able to make a living earn some money while using my computer is because I took that grade ten computer science class on Turing. Modern computers are both ubiquitous and intuitive. Your kids will be able to use them because they will already have been part of their lives without any encouragement from us and, besides, they’ll be really easy to use.

But how about educational apps and games?

As far as I know, the verdict is out on how educational any of that stuff is. Remember Baby Einstein? It turns out sitting your infant in front of the TV isn’t good for them, regardless of how much classical music is being played. Go figure. A half-baked news story based on outtakes from an old Steve Jobs interview was making the rounds the other week. It turns out the Apple mastermind himself didn’t let his kids binge on tech either. That doesn’t surprise me in the least.

Really, for me, it’s not about the tech itself being inherently bad. It’s about developing hobbies, interests, habits and an attention span for activities that are not screen-based. My son can play chess on a chess board and my daughter can make art using paper and paint. We can work on puzzles and turn real pages with our hands. We can do all of these things on a screen, of course, and occasionally we do. But the screen lures us in, begging us to bask in its all-things-to-all-people glow. It beeps and blips at us so that, yes, we’re reading, but at the same time we’re checking messages and updating apps and watching quick little videos. And that’s just me.

I think kids need to spend as much time as possible playing and learning in the real world. I think they need to develop patience, focus and an appreciation for things that sit still and draw you in. I don’t think they want to fall into a digital time suck, either. My kids get mad when they accidentally use up all their play time with screens. They don’t deserve to lose half their childhood to a computerized wormhole.

Okay, but. Don’t they need to learn how to be social media savvy? For their own safety?

You know what? Whatever. I don’t have all the answers, but it seems to me if the concern is Internet safety, the answer isn’t MOAR INTERNETZ. I’ve read articles and blog posts about young tweens and teens that detail truly horrific cases of online bullying and harassment. Those threats are real. But why does it seem like parents are quicker to switch schools or even move than they are to delete all Facebook or Instagram accounts? Like, I know it sucks. I like social media as next as the next girl, but if you stop using it, it can’t hurt you.

My plan is simply to keep my kids from having their own personal devices for as long as possible. We’ll have a desktop computer in a common area for school projects and other uses and they already clamour to play games and watch Netflix on the shared family tablet as much as they can. But my idealistic idea is to hold off on everything else for as long as possible. Cell phones for safety as some point? Sure, here’s a pay-as-you-go flip phone. Talk and text all you want. Will they be getting their own smartphones, iPods, tablets or laptops? Not any time soon. Feel free to check back with me in five to ten years to see how that goes.

Why do you have to be such a judgmental bitch for? My kids use tech all the time and they’re FINE.

Honestly, they probably are. I’m just as guilty as the next parent (or more so) of using TV and screens as a crutch to buy me some time. In fact, half the reason I plan to be so restrictive is because I don’t want to have to police my kids’ tech gadget use. I suck at that. You are probably doing a much better job than I ever would. I don’t even think any given TV show or game or whatever is the problem. It’s just the cumulative effect of not doing something else that bothers me. That something else can be learning or playing or cleaning, I don’t care. What I’m worried about, too, is the habits that get formed during childhood. I don’t want mindlessly turning on a piece of technology to be a habit that’s so deeply entrenched. Let them wait until they’re fully grown like the rest of us, right? But mostly, I am questioning the broader belief that digital technology does or should have an important role in our children’s lives at home and at school.

There are many people who truly believe that digital technology is an important tool for our kids to have ample access to. I’m not convinced.

Extra reading: Annie from Phd In Parenting also happened to write on the topic of kids and tech distractions earlier this week.