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This Week in The Bane of My Existence, 1

DAILY SNACK

Kids stuff that needs to get put back into little pockets and pouches and boxes just so.

Because it NEVER gets put back no matter how many times I ask and beg and plead to PLEASE just remember to put that stuff away properly so it doesn’t get lost and then I spend all my life forever picking up bits and parts and trying to figure out where the hell they go myself.

I’m talking to you, shape sorter and stray puzzle pieces and little tiny books that slide into pockets of a bigger book.

I’m talking to you.

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Contests

Byron Barton’s “The Three Bears” Best Toddler Book Ever

There are a lot of books being marketed to young children out there. Many are based on popular kids shows — forget about these. Many are classic stories we remember from our own childhood — these are often nice. And then there are the fairy tales — be careful with these. Too often a publisher will put out a shoddy rendition of a fairy tale figuring that the story will sell itself. The abridged story will be poorly constructed and the illustrations barely passable. There is no joy in these stories.

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Don’t Scold My Kid, Man

DAILY SNACK

On our way out of Loblaws,

Bbq chicken in hand,

I spotted a small Wine Rack outlet.

I slowed down to consider their selection.

The clerk came out from behind his counter,

And walked right past me to hover over Colum.

“Oh, oh, oh,” he said, “Watch out.”

Colum was walking calmly down the centre of the aisle,

Nowhere near the bottles.

The clerk was so out of joint that he started stuttering and gesturing.

“You have to be careful, because … oops!”

And he tipped over a bottle of wine to show us that it could drop.

“It happens quite often.”

Uh-huh.

You know what might be more effective?

How about leaving my child alone?

(And maybe mentioning your concerns to me.)

And if it’s such a major problem,

That children are running into your wine display,

On their way out of the grocery store of all places,

Then maybe you should change your display?

I’m sorry. What’s that?

Oh, no. I won’t be buying anything.

Thanks very much.

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Ontario Full-Day Kindergarten a Good Thing

There is lots and lots of grumbling from all corners as Dalton McGuinty and his Ontario Liberals get ready to offer full day everyday kindergarten to a very few elementary schools by September. From parents desperate for a solution to the daycare-to-kindergarten-and-back daily shuffle to taxpayers who grumble about providing “free babysitting” to four and five year olds. Even more parents don’t know what to think.

There’s also the question of whether this is too little, too late. McGuinty promised full-day kindergarten for every child in the province by 2010, but instead it will available to only 15% of kindergarteners with a promise to make it the new province-wide standard by 2015. Nobody is quite sure how they will get the resources to follow through.

I generally hate to be a cheerleader, especially of some beaurocratic policy initiative, but this is a cause that can use a few more enthusiastic voices. So here goes.

Most kids are not in their parents care anyway. In Toronto at least, the number of households with stay-at-home parents is pretty small. (I couldn’t find any solid stats, so you’ll have to take my word for it.) There are single-parent and two-parent families with children in full-time daycare, there are families with nannies, there are in-home child care arrangements, and there are work-at-home parents (like me) who try to make a buck or two with or without some sort of child care. Then the kids start kindergarten and the parents, daycare centres, nannies, etc. have to figure out how to get the kids to school and back for their two and a half hour day. It’s a drag at best. A logistical nightmare at worst.

Full-day kindergarten (with the built-in after-school care option) means that parents no longer have to worry about that. It means that the kids are not shuffled around either. They are in one place all day everyday. They actually get an extended kindergarten curriculum, which has got to be better than the average daycare counterpart.

But, c’mon, is there really educational value in full-day kindergarten? There actually is. Some studies (like this American one) suggest that a more relaxed, integrated, play-oriented and full-day program is better for 4 and 5 year olds. The research suggests (though we only have short-term studies right now) that there are academic, social and behavioural advantages. As the Ontario government states on it’s website, the benefits of the full-day program do tend to be more pronounced in low-income communities. (Because, sadly, the child care a working-class single mom gets is not the same as the child care a middle class couple gets.) Obviously there are also parental education levels that tend to cut across class lines and would impact the value of institutional versus home care as well.  There are, however, no apparent adverse affects on any children attending full-day programs and, in fact, it appears that the reading and math learned in full-day programs was higher overall than that of  half-day programs.

I have also been told by a trusted friend and fellow mom who is working in the French board where full-day kindergarten is already in place that it seems like a good curriculum. The kids do well, they have fun, and they are happy. Isn’t that about all we can ask for?

But why should WE PAY for your babysitting, asks the middle aged woman coming up on retirement.  It’s like certain members of society forget that it doesn’t end with them, and I am sick of hearing about it. Somebody needs to have children or we are all screwed. Who do they think will pay out their Canada Pensions or tend to them in their old age or serve them at freaking Tim Hortons in a few years? So, yes, full day kindergarten takes some of the financial burden off the parents. That is probably the number one reason I’m in favour of it, to tell you the truth. When full-time child care costs about $1000 per month per kid the average family can barely afford to keep their jobs. If my husband and I both had full-time jobs we almost certainly would not qualify for a child care subsidy, for example. The cost of child care for our two kids, however, would be almost as much as I could expect to earn. So, I stay home and try to work around their schedules as much as possible. I would say that I’m lucky to be able to find work that allows me to do that, but that is a load of crock. Most people do not want to work non-stop seven days a week into the wee hours of the night for very, very little money. Luck has nothing to do with it. If Colum were attending full-day kindergarten in September, though, part-time care for Irene might be more feasible. I might be able to work a little more and therefore earn enough to cover that cost! Note that we do rely on my feeble part-time income to make ends meet and no amount of sock-darning would be able to change that. When two incomes are the norm to achieve a mean standard of living, then the cost of child care needs to accounted for. That’s a societal obligation.

But I like to spend time with my baby and I don’t want him to be gone all day and he’s not ready and I’ll miss him. Sure, I get that too. I mean, Colum was in full-time daycare for a whopping 4 months while I worked just enough to qualify for my second maternity leave. Now he goes to a nursery school two mornings a week and it does seem like a natural progression for him to move to five mornings a week next year. Full days do sound long. (Although I’m sure he would adjust in no time.) So don’t do it. You can always opt to enroll your child for just the morning or afternoon. (Though I guess they would miss half the programming that way.) In fact, I just learned that children don’t have to go to school at all until Grade One. Of course, that starts to sound like homeschooling and don’t even get me started on homeschooling …

But wasn’t this all supposed to be in place already? Why can only 15% of children attend the full day program? Well, I called out the McGuinty government on this back in May of last year when I had heard from trusted sources in the Ontario Early Years Program that there was no way that the government could make this happen. Even now there are concerns about the cost of implementing this program across the board and the logistics of space and teaching staff. The government’s plan apparently doesn’t account for the union-regulated school boards salaries when hiring Early Childhood Educators, for example. And what will happen to day care centres when they lose half their kids? And how exactly will these schools be able to provide care during the summer, March Break, and other non-school days? I must admit that I’m impressed that in the face of all these doubts, concerns, questions and criticisms, the government is going forward with this anyway. They don’t have all the answers and I will not be surprised if we don’t have full implementation by 2015, but they are trying. Is 15% of kindergarten spots enough? No, but it’s a whole lot better than none.

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Help For Haiti

DAILY SNACK

There is horror in Haiti right now.

The magnitude of the death and destruction,

The agony and the despair,

Is almost beyond comprehension.

There are photos.

It makes my own concerns and complaints seem oh-so-very small.

And they are small.

Even the greatest tragedy in my life,

Happens within a context of love and support.

Within a strong and secure nation,

With food and water and medicine.

Within standing buildings and homes for our people.

As rescue workers the world over arrive in Haiti,

They will need support.

The Globe and Mail has an excellent list of organizations that can use your donation.

Let us count our blessings and give our dollars.

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Now, What Was I Saying?

DAILY SNACK

I have at least half a dozen posts-in-progress

On the go right now.

There’s one on bath phobia and one on full-day kindergarten.

There’s the biggie about religion,

And a couple reviews.

There’s some Playground-worthy events that I need to list,

And a post about why we need to take care of ourselves.

Instead, though.

Instead I run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off,

Or like your typical pre-schooler,

And write a paragraph here, a tweet there,

Wash a load of laundry,

But don’t fold it.

Run the dishwasher,

But never empty it.

. . .

Okay, so Colum’s pants are on,

Now where was I?

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My Shiner

DAILY SNACK

Do you see that smudge under my eye?

IMG_0891

No, it’s not yesterday’s mascara.

It’s my black eye.

Let’s just say that Colum and I had differing opinions

On how long it should take one boy to put on one pair of snowpants.

The eye was just a bit of collateral damage.

It doesn’t look nearly as bad as it hurt at the time.

Then, when I showed the bruising to Colum,

And told him I had a black eye,

He said,

“Oh no, Mommy. When you wake up will it be green again?”

Too sweet, all is forgiven.

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Fashion

DAILY SNACK

Multi-coloured horizontal stripes,

And vertical ones too.

In blue.

Athletic gear meets cable knits.

Red and orange and green and yellow.

White socks and black shoes.

And ONLY T-SHIRTS because,

“I like cold!”

I wasn’t prepared for getting dressed by himself to also mean choosing his own clothes.

So don’t judge another mother in the first place.

But really don’t judge her for what her child is wearing.

Please.

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The Infant-Toddler Cusp

DAILY SNACK

“What should we do now?”

I ask Irene.

“Should we draw a picture?”

She nods.

“Do you want to use chalk? Where’s the chalkboard?”

She points.

I put her down and we walk over to the chalk board.

I hand her a fat piece of sidewalk chalk.

She puts it in her mouth.

“No, Irene, no. Yucky.”

She laughs and tears off into the kitchen,

Chalk firmly between teeth.

What am I dealing with here?

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Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle

DAILY SNACK

Gloria Steinem* has been widely credited with the slogan,

“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

Just what is Pepperidge Farm trying to say with this, then?

Whole Grain Goldrish Crackers

That woman need men only if they want to feed their children healthy, “whole grain” snacks?

That we need men if we want to find the time to eat right and get fit?

That feminism has become such a fragmented and meaningless word that you might as well give a fish a bicycle and sell some snacks to kids while your at it?

I’d love to hear your interpretations.

*It was, apparently, the Australian Irina Dunn who actually coined the phrase in 1970.