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Diapers, We’re So Done (Almost)

Confession: my two-year-old has been going commando for days.

That’s right, nothing but bare baby butt under those pink yoga pants or patterned tights. After 48 hours of wearing the same pull-up-style diaper with no accidents, I decided to do away with them altogether. (And after four days of stripping her crib and washing the bedding I brought them back for overnight.)

The daytime regimen is sticking, though, and as long as I remember to plop her on the toilet every couple of hours, we’re good. As long as I remember . . . Right, so you can see where we’re going with this. It didn’t take long to burn through the two pairs of real, big girl underpants, the three pairs of waffled training underpants and the two or three pairs of cloth training diapers that we have. We wet a number of pants and stockings while going commando, too, to which I reply, “Sucker! If I wasn’t so behind on the laundry, I’d have one more thing to wash now.”

Cross fingers, knock on wood, do your ritualistic sacrifice of a virgin rat, what have you, but it’s been a couple days now since we’ve had an accident. Progress! AND she has even told me on more than one occasion that she needs to use the toilet — pee and poo! Booyah!

That deserves a celebration. I think I might just do a load or two of laundry and then pass out for the night.

Post script:

I know you’re all dying to know how Irene compares to her big brother in this department. So here goes.

Night training: Colum reigns supreme by routinely waking up dry (and thus not needing a diaper overnight) at the ripe old age of 18 months. Listen, I would not lie about this. He can hold it for-freaking-ever.

Daytime, No. 1: Irene has a slight edge because she sometimes tells me when she has to go and will pee just about every time I sit her on a toilet. Colum was strong here, too, and his iron-walled bladder meant that he seldom had accidents even when I forgot to bring him to the bathroom. But he never really told me he had to go. I kept waiting for that development and it never happened. He went from me bringing him to the loo every couple hours to just getting up and going all on his own without a word to anybody.

Daytime, No. 2: This is where I thank my lucky stars that Irene is so much easier. She often goes when she’s peeing and has even told me a couple times that she needs to poo. Even if she has an accident, she has much better, er, form and the clean up is super easy. (Neither kid would sit in it.) Not the case with Colum, let’s just leave it at that.

All in all, Irene is 27 months old and I’m really hoping for full toilet training status by two and a half. Colum was a bit older, but then again he was in daycare at Irene’s age. That changes everything.

And that concludes the toddler excrement session of Way Too Much Information. Please join me next week as I discuss the state of my nursing bras during the first months of breastfeeding.

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I’m Not Directing This Play Anymore

Me: I don’t think you should have any more crackers, sweetie, because I’m cooking supper.

2-year-old daughter: OK! So I put the crackers here and then I ask you for another one. Then you say no and I cry and cry. Then I stop crying and be happy.

The best part is when she proceeded to put the sleeve of crackers on a chair, leave the kitchen and then returned a couple minutes later. She asked for another cracker, and when I said no, she gave one hell of a fake crying performance. She came over for hugs and then miraculously snapped out of it, happy now.

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Bedtime Reading

Bedtime is hard. Even when things are going relatively smoothly, it’s hard. There’s the sometimes bath, the wrestling into pajamas, the teeth brushing, the choosing of the stories, the arguing over the stories and the reading of the stories. Then there’s the tucking in and, of course, the delay tactics. Everyone’s exhausted, especially me. But every once in a while I insist on picking out the books so I can better enjoy the time spent discovering literature with my children. No offense, Dino Hockey, since you’re single-handedly teaching my son to read, but this is better:

The Engineer
by A. A. Milne

Let it rain!

Who cares?

I’ve a train

Upstairs,

With a brake

Which I make

From a string

Sort of thing,

Which works

In jerks,

‘Cos it drops

In the spring,

Which stops

With the string,

And the wheels

All stick

So quick

That it feels

Like a thing

That you make

With a brake,

Not a string . . .

So that’s what I make,

When the day’s all wet.

It’s a good sort of brake

But it hasn’t worked yet.

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Skipping Lunch Never Looked So Good

Mom guilt for me usually revolves around two things: diet and TV. I’ve gotten a lot better with the guilt thing as my kids have gotten older and I’ve clocked more years of motherhood. You start to realize that one McDonald’s lunch in front of the TV is pretty small potatoes in the long run. And that there is more to parenting than breastfeeding, I’m afraid. It’s not that simple.

Still, I’m not immune. Since Colum has started school, lunch has become a rushed and harried experience. We have to be at the school bus stop (a 5 – 10 minute walk with kids) at noon which means we should really be sitting down to eat lunch at 11am. Which means … we should be eating breakfast at what time? Earlier than we do, that’s for sure. I also try to do some work in the mornings while the kids play together (I said “try”), so I’m usually running up to get lunch on around 11 and then we sit down between 11:15 and 11:30 and then my kids proceed to go for the world record for longest time ever to eat a cheese sandwich and some veggie sticks. It’s crazy. Finally we finish eating and it’s off to the bathroom for precautionary pre-school pees. Added bonus: Irene’s toilet training now, so she needs to go, too! Then it’s the mayhem of trying to get two kids suited up for the winter, one of whom is two and therefore throwing a tantrum at the bottom of the stairs because I only let her turn the lights on and off three times. The other is a fairly co-operative four year old, but also the most distractable person on the face of the earth. So I wind up putting his snow suit on for him because we have to go even though he should be doing it himself by now.

This all amounts to an extremely stressful lunch and a mad dash to the school bus peppered with much yelling and tears. I told another mom at the bus stop that’s it’s just so hard to squeeze lunch in that early; how does she do it? Her answer: she doesn’t. “I stopped trying,” she said. Instead, they eat a big breakfast a little later, have a snack before school, and she packs a more substantial school snack. Ah.

There have been days when getting dressed took so long, we did brunch instead of lunch, but I worried it wasn’t enough. They don’t get much time to eat their snack at school and I worried Colum wouldn’t get through much more than the cereal bar or muffin I usually pack him. I worried that I needed to provide a typical meal structure even though it wasn’t working for us. I guilted myself into it.

So as of tomorrow we’re trying something new. It will be fresh fruit first thing in the morning and then a big brunch meal around 10:30. I’ll pack a standard snack and also have something ready to go for after school. That should keep them fed and take the edge off our mid-day rush. (I hope!)

Now I just need to wake up before them to get some work done.

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A Crossroads

For the first time in a long time, I don’t really know what everybody is talking about on the Internet. I don’t know what new dangers have been found in baby formula or what subliminal messages the TV networks are sending to my kids. I haven’t read a parenting magazine or any real paper newspaper for weeks. I haven’t even been reading blogs. And I can’t say I’ve missed it.

Instead, I’ve been reading novels and short stories and watching actual movies on my new TV. I’ve been rediscovering the art of story-telling and learning. The creative juices have been flowing and I’m tempted to just drop off the grid altogether and chain myself to a desk every night from 9 to midnight writing fiction. (Because in the absence of deadlines or instant gratification, I assume I’ll need chains.)

But I also have about a dozen other bloggy and journalistic projects in various stages of development. I have a part-time work-from-home job and I have two young children to care for full time.

Virginia Woolf famously said, “‘a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” Maybe  I just don’t have enough money. Maybe I should wait.

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A Home For the Holidays

There were probably 40 or so family members over at our place on Christmas Day, my Dad’s side of the family. (Another 40 – 50 friends and family members from my husband’s side dropped by the following week. Catholic families … ) The living room, dining room, and kitchen of our modest three-bedroom semi were bustling and kids of all ages ran up and down from the basement playroom. Young adults gossiped over drinks in the kids’ bedroom and the cold room was piled high with cases of beer and pop and juice. The dining room table was pushed back to accommodate a buffet meal and a bushy Christmas tree and new buffet hugged the other walls. The new home turns out to be a good party space in the same way that the best clubs and restaurants are always the ones filled to capacity. It had been transformed from a cluttered home to two over-worked parents and two young children to a hub of holiday cheer. It was good. But I guess it makes sense that Colum emerged from the basement around 10pm and tugged at my sleeve, “Mommy, I’m ready to go home.”

We spent the holidays warming our new house in good part, but now that everything is back to normal, it is nice to be home.

Happy New Year, one and all.

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My Wheels

I don’t know what kind of car you drive,
But I drive an Ice Racer.
Until the spring, that is,
When it will become a Hot-omatic Racer.
Or so Colum says,
And he seems to know what he’s talking about.

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Weaning Directly From Breast to Treehouse

I tend not to use a lot of baby props.

Propping up a three-month-old in a Bumbo chair before they are ready to sit up on their own never worked, for example.

Those wing kind of things that help your baby walk? When your kids are off on their own by eleven months at the latest, not so necessary.

Bottles, sippy cups, and all manner of baby food contraptions? Nah. I mean, I used those, but really not much. From breast to sippy cup with very few bottles and then onto regular cups well before 18 months old. (I can’t be the only one who hates washing those lids!) And soft hunks of whatever’s cooking are way easier than baby mush.

So it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that as soon as my kids will play independently for any stretch of time (or watch TV, whatever, mama’s got deadlines) I tend to lock myself in the next room and write. They’re not lonely; that’s why I had two of them.

Still, I can’t get over how a month ago I had a cling-y 24 month-old who needed me all the time and now I have two kids who will happily colour and build and play cook and read and yes, watch TV, for minutes on end. Because you know I’m going to want a break every 30 minutes anyways, right?

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Jimi Hendrix Doesn’t Live Here, Does He?

We’re doing something new this year because apparently I had ten dollars burning a hole in my pocket and a desire to drive halfway across the city to scare my kids with a mall Santa. That’s right, we’re doing the Santa Experience at Sherway Gardens which has stories and songs in addition to the requisite lap-sitting. At least this offers something else besides sitting on a strange man’s lap, which neither of my kids have ever gone for. (Really, can you blame them?)

This thing is set to go down in an hour and a half, so I have only one question, dear reader: Do I drop the acid before or during the Experience?

Image from Last.fm
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The Santa Scenario

The majority of us are just trying to get through the holiday season intact without tainting the joy too much for our kids. Am I right? I mean, I already know that when we go to choose our “organic” tree (is there another kind?) from the supermarket parking lot we’ll need to find a compromise between my husband’s desire to buy what the tree guy calls “the Ferrari of Christmas trees” and my desire to have some money left over for groceries. Then there will be the swearing and complaining as the needles dig into your skin and the whole, “Why can’t you hold the damn tree straight?!” episode. The kids will load up the bottom of the tree with decorations, fighting over them and destroying some in the process, almost for sure. They’ll be all hopped up on the gingerbread house I won’t let them touch until we get the tree up, and then they’ll very likely knock the whole tree down at least once. I’ll be sweeping up needles until May and pulling ornaments out of the toy boxes until … oh, look, here’s one from last year.

And that’s just the tree, my friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but the holidays are stressful. So, yes, I’ll take whatever help I can get to keep the magic alive for my kids. It just so happens that the help comes in the form of an overweight, white dude in a red suit who lives on the North Pole. Whatever. I’ll take it.

Not everyone agrees, though. Daniela Syrovy of sympatico.ca’s Coffee Talk argues that Santa is nothing but a myth that celebrates materialism and magnifies socio-economic disparity. (Except she doesn’t sound like she’s writing a graduate paper in her column.) Guest blogger Grinchmommy on momlogic.com adds that Santa sets up kids for disappointment and makes a liar out of parents and is smug about how her kindergarten-aged daughter brought her classmates to tears telling them the truth about Santa. This dad made these same arguments a couple years ago, adding that it’s important to know where a gift comes from.

To which I reply, eh. If you say so. I don’t think these parents are doing their kids any grave injustices by telling them the truth about Santa. I also love the way my just-turned two-year-old daughter’s eyes light up as she talks about Santa coming to her house. My husband says the only reason he believed in Santa for as long as he did is because he knew there was no way his parents could afford the toys that Santa brought. As someone who is relatively free from upper-middle class guilt (thank you, insufferable debt load), I think that’s one of the joys of Santa Claus as a parent. You can indulge your kids wants (or some of them) once a year without undermining the basic chorus of, “Sorry, that’s too expensive. No, you can’t have that. We can’t afford that, dear.”

I believed in Santa for a while, I guess, and then I didn’t. I don’t really remember when it happened and it certainly wasn’t traumatic. I’m the oldest of four, though, so I kept playing along for a long time which was fun. The whole myth is pretty out there, let’s face it, and when I started asking the right questions I think there might have been a bit of wink, wink, nudge, nudge from my parents. I don’t know exactly how I’ll deal with Santa questions as the kids get older. (Here’s what happened to Sweetney.) I’ll probably just wing it or dodge the question altogether.

The best part of this discussion is how riled up people get in the comments. Like, I for one think Santa is wonderful and who do you think you are?! Settle down, people, the Santa Claus propagators among us are still a clear majority and the fat man is going nowhere anytime soon. If only so we can distract the kids from the family politics happening at the dinner table.