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Five Ways To Eat Your Goddamned Breakfast

DAILY SNACK

1. Here’s your favourite cereal sweetie. To which the response is an adamant, “No! That cereal gets soggy. I don’t like it anymore.”

2. Okay, fine. Here’s the honey-nut version of your cereal. His eyes light up and he digs in. Then, when he’s about half-way through he pushes it away. “Soggy.’

3. Good morning. I’ve made you a nice hot bowl of oatmeal with diced apples and raisins and cinnamon added. Here, sprinkle on your own maple sugar! Well, right away you know it’s too hot. So we cool it down in the freezer for a bit and add some cold milk. One day he’ll devour his bowl. The next day he’ll eat about half and by the third time, he’s pushing the bowl away.

4. Grrr. Yeah, here’s the sugary instant dino eggs laden packet of oatmeal you requested at the grocery store. Whatever. Just eat. He’s eating now, for the first day or so. Then he starts playing with the dino eggs, not eating them unless the egg part has totally dissolved, revealing the little candy dinos inside. This means we have to put them in a cup with hot water a couple times. Then I need to spoon feed him the rest of the oatmeal when he tries to get away from the table.

5. Peanut butter sandwhiches it is. Again. No, you can’t have just jam! I am so totally screwed when he starts school in September and we can’t eat peanut butter before going. (Allergies, man, which I totally get because the peanut butter does get everywhere with little kids.) To be clear, I’m not waking up on a daily basis to make pancakes, french toast or eggs either.

By Rebecca Cuneo Keenan

Rebecca Cuneo Keenan is a writer who lives in Toronto with her husband and three children.

5 replies on “Five Ways To Eat Your Goddamned Breakfast”

Waffles for the toaster? ya, I cheap out all the time with those. Usually served with fresh strawberries or banana’s. Bagelfuls are my favourite and surprisingly healthy… they are portable too when you have those “I’m not eating this moment” followed by 20 minutes later on your way to school of “I’m hungry!”

Pea butter which is very much like peanut butter in all ways is the allergy safe alternative, and available in most grocery stores.

Banana wrapped in a wrap with mayo & jam works too (or pea butter), or left over hotdog buns.

Chopped apples or berries on top of yogurt with granola also a big hit in our house. You could let them add in their own chopped fruit, and watch it change color (strawberries and blueberries when frozen).

Eggs can be cooked in a about 30 sec in a well buttered ramekin and covered with cellophane… stir up, salt & pepper, voila! Take that and smash it, use some ketchup or salsa and maybe cheese, throw it between bread or in a wrap and you have the breakfast wrap from McDs- but better!

Hard boiled eggs last up to 5 days in the fridge. Do a whole bunch at once. Color them even, for fun. YOu can slice them on bread or quarter them to eat on their own, or smash them and have egg salad for breakfast (same ingredients as an omlette except for the mayo, really).

Or you can double your pancake receipe on the weekend, and freeze the left overs, they’re great from the freezer into the toaster to the plate.

We also buy the pre-grated cheese and freeze it, melt it on toast in the micro for about 30 secs, and slice up some fruit on the side. Sliced deli cheese works too. It takes about 2 minutes from toasting to melt.

Hope this helps. I have a very slow eater at home, so share your frustration. I have actually sent him to Daycare with out him finishing his breakfast… they have snack, I will not feel guilty!

Never feel guilty! I’ll look into the pea butter and also need to return to the berries and yogurt and granola. Tried that but can’t remember if it was a winner. Eggs are good, but I like to do them for lunch a lot since I’ve got two home with me all the freaking time. Pre-grated cheese is a great idea for toast, too! This is all good. Sometimes you just wish you could open a box of cereal, though, you know? Like, BEFORE the coffee has started brewing.
Thanks Jill!

We use pea butter here, tastes almost the same as peanut butter… you wouldn’t know the difference if someone didn’t tell you really.

Also, we do plain cereal on the way to school pretty much every day… or waffles. Bring a banana and a cup of milk and it’s breakfast on the go. Lol.

They eat snack at about 9:30 which is always something awesome so I never worry.

The frozen pancake thing is good too..

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