Gwyneth Paltrow has shown, once again, that everything she does is better than everything you do.
You’ve likely already heard the news. Gwynnie and husband Chris Martin of Coldplay fame are splitsville. She announced the break up in a letter to fans published on her Goop.com website. That page isn’t loading right now but you can also read the full text on Gawker (and everywhere else probably.)
Gwyneth calls the separation a “conscious uncoupling” which is clearly far superior to the run-of-the-mill break ups and divorces the rest of us go through. She also assures us that the couple had been “working very hard … to see what might have been possible between us.” And we can rest easy knowing they “love each other very much” and are “closer than ever.”
Damn. I wish my actual marriage had half as much love and mutual respect as a Goop divorce. The last time we worked hard at anything as a team we were trying to close an overloaded suitcase. We bought a king-sized bed with the express purpose of never having to be “closer than ever” again. And it’s an actual probability that we won’t even sit down and watch a tv show together until season 3 of House of Cards comes out.
I bet she didn’t stalk out of the room and empty the dishwasher through a haze of rage tears even once.
2 replies on “Goop, she did it again”
Conscious uncoupling eh? Wonder who coined that one. Love each other more than ever?!? Wtf? “Honey my love for you has grown so much that I think it’s time for us to consciously uncouple. Want an apple? ” A king size bed would be nice. We only have a double. Now are kids are so big that if our daughter has a nightmare and comes into our bed, I go and sleep in hers.
Our bed takes up 80% of the floor space in the bedroom. Totally worth it.