In recent “the Internet knows all” news, have you heard some of the theories about the missing Malaysian Airlines plane on Twitter? I’m not quite sure how all of the top experts from countries around the world glossed over the possibility of a black hole or a real-world Lost. So it’s a good thing there are thousands of people, including Courtney Love, scouring grainy satellite images of the Indian Ocean they found on the web and tweeting about them. What would the world’s top intelligence agents do without them?
We told the kids about the missing plane over dinner last night and they also had some ideas. In fact, my seven and five-year-old’s theories were far better than anything I’ve read on Twitter and they hardly even get to use the internet.
1. It flew too high and burned up in the atmosphere.
This is apparently a thing that happens in comic books sometimes.
2. It flew into a cloud that never ends.
I don’t believe anyone has discounted this theory yet.
3. It got stuck in a tree.
I have to admit. This seems unlikely.
4. It got stuck in a building that didn’t have a door but did have a car wash.
This seems even less likely but ten times as awesome. Just stopped in for a buff and got stuck. Sorry!
5. It flew across a desert and got stuck in the sand.
The number of things I lost in the sandbox last summer alone suggest this is totally plausible.
6. It crashed into a really high empty bird’s nest.
‘Nuff said.
7. Flew into the North Pole and got buried in the snow.
Has anyone even called Santa?