So my kids are in school now which gives me a little breathing room. It does not, however, seem to turn me into a fully functional adult human being.
Like just now, for example. I figured if I brushed on some mascara and threw a blazer over my jeans and t-shirt, I would be evening-event ready.
I literally had one foot out the door when I remembered my keys were in the kitchen. There, I happened to glance down and realized I’d managed to dust the entire front of my black t-shirt with flour while making dinner.
I wiped myself off and was running down the street when I noticed a fluffy tangle of threads clinging to the top of my pants. I tried to pluck it off and it started unravelling. Stretchy threads were being pulled from all the way across my waist like I was a worn out teddy bear.
It was . . .
And then suddenly I understood.
I was wearing an old pair of period panties and the elastic waist band was unravelling.
I was going out to mingle with people at a professional event with a wet t-shirt and ever-expanding cluster of granny-panty threads hanging from my pants.
But people will notice that I’m wearing good mascara, right?