Old Habits, 2011 by Susan Copich
Some dark and provocative photos that explore the more desperate undercurrents of motherhood have been making the rounds on blogs and social media. Photographer and mother of two, Susan Copich, found herself facing middle age with a waning acting career and a home life set to auto pilot, according to Slate. She also, like so many mothers, realized that she was missing from all the family photos.
So Copich began staging domestic scenes, many of them including her two daughters, and casting her own despair as the star element. The result is a photo series titled “Domestic Bliss” that just finished showing at the Umbrella Arts Gallery in New York City. You can scroll through several of the pictures from the series in this .
I must say, I love them. There’s a bit of dark humour to some of the pictures while others I have to keep returning to look at because they make me feel uncomfortable. In nearly every shot, Copich stares out with perfectly dead eyes, in various stages of undress. She oozes desperation and ennui; sex and violence; drudgery and despair. And then there are her children in the background. I can’t get over just how evocative these images are.
I’m not personally prone to murderous, suicidal or drug-fueled fantasies myself. (Nor, I’d imagine, is Copich.) But I couldn’t help but tap into the “Domestic Bliss” vibe just this afternoon when my daughter accused me of hogging more than my fair share of holiday crafting fun. Doors were slammed, sobs were gasped, loud and incessant crying followed. Trust me, the last thing I ever want to do is more crafting than is absolutely necessary. A wholesome family activity spun out into a extended meltdown fest just like that and I couldn’t help but think tangled Christmas lights would make a striking prop noose.
But my friend Karen Green (The Kids Are Alright) does makes a good point on Facebook. She writes, “On one hand, I love the satirical honesty here, and there is nothing more fascinating (artistically speaking) than giving voice to moments of quiet desperation. On the other hand, I’m so over the very privileged white women’s “struggles” with motherhood. So tough. (yawn)”
She’s right. These images do portray a very privileged lifestyle replete with luxury decor, furs, jewels and pool boys. And aren’t we all more than just a little sick of hearing how challenging motherhood is for women who have every single damned leg up you could ever imagine? Should they stay home and shuttle their kids from one elite extracurricular activity to the next themselves? Or should they hire someone to that for them while they pursue a fulfilling career of their own? So hard! And can you even believe the waiting list for the top-tier preschools?
Still, it’s the human condition, man. The never ending tedium of snacks and baths and soccer and homework can beat us all down over the years. The act of feeding children is all by itself enough to break a woman spirit. Certainly these things are made easier if you can hire someone else to clean your toilet and do your gardening and you don’t have to work overtime just to make sure the bills are paid. But on some level we’re all dealing with the same existential crises.
I must be able relate to this woman if these pictures make me squirm so much.
What do you think? Love them? Hate them? Think they’re the twisted result of some rich lady having too much time on her hands?