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How To Make A Pussy Riot Balaclava

Pussy Riot a Russian feminist punk-rock collective consisting of 12 members, three of whom were arrested in March 2012 following a protest performance (and video release of the performance) on the sanctuary of Moscow’s Cathedral of Christ the Saviour. Two members (who are both mothers of young children) have just been convicted of hooliganism and sentenced to two years in the Russian prison camps that were the Soviet-era Gulag.

So, Pussy Riot, the most kick-ass feminist statement costume of the year. Not that I had to tell you, dear readers.

There was a big costume party at the conference I attended over the weekend and we looked awesome. The costume idea was the brain child of Nadine Silverthorne. The other members of Pussy Riot were played by Rebecca Brown, Karen Green, Emma Waverman, Emma Willer and myself. Emma Willer’s recap sums up our experience perfectly: How to have a feminist Halloween.

And now a craft.

How to make your own Pussy Riot balaclava. (This is not the only way.)

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I got these in the girls section at Walmart for a dollar apiece. They are thin, and tightly knit and double layered.

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Turn each hat inside out and inspect the seam. Carefully cut the inside layer of fabric around all the seams so the hat becomes one longer single layer.

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It will look all ziggy-zaggy at the bottom, like this. It’s fine.

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Put on the hat. (Yes, that’s really me. Don’t be scared.) Use chalk to mark where your eyes and mouth are.

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Cut small eye and mouth holes. Remember, you can always make them larger, but you can’t make them smaller. Try the balaclava on a few times and make small adjustments to the size and shape of your holes.

Pair with a brightly coloured dress, contrasting tights and punk rock boots.

Go forth and spread the word.

#freepussyriot

 

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Blogging, The Conference or High School Redux

I’ve hit that point in a blogging conference attendee’s trajectory where you no longer care what the popular girls think. It’s like I’m entering grade 12 all over again and I know I’m only there for a couple specific purposes. I need to pass finite math to get into U of T, get a role in the school play and see how long I can get away with wearing knee-high red army boots with my school-girl kilt. Uh, wait. That’s not right.

But it kind of is. I attended an all-girl’s Catholic school and it was one bitter cat fight to the end — if you let it be. Grades nine and ten were wrought with all kinds of petty jealousies and flat-out meanness. I wasn’t “bullied,” no, I was mostly just ignored, ostracized and sometimes laughed at. Whatever. I found some fellow freaks and geeks and hung low.  By grade 11 I had my own teen angst rebellion thing happening outside of school and was so beyond engaging in any of the social leveraging and power plays happening in the halls.

But grade 12 was the best. I knew who I was and who I wasn’t. I knew who was worth hanging out with and forgot about everyone else. I passed finite. I made the school play. I wore those boots for the entire day and not one teacher said peep to me. It was a good year.

So even though this is only my third blogging conference (fourth if you count the Blissdom Canada where I only attended the parties), I feel like I’m starting to know how these things play out. There will be some squealing and gushing. There will be a good amount of jockeying. There will be even more ass kissing. And there will be lots and lots of sales pitches masquerading as “opportunities” to build “relationships.” Please.

But there will also be some good friends. There will even be a few good (gasp) writers! There will be people I admire and people I like and a couple people I can learn from. Those connections are worth maintaining. I know there are golden conversations waiting to happen and ghosts of ideas that can spring to life in settings like these. I need to say to hello to a couple people, I need to be inspired and I need to make some real life, honest-to-goodness business contacts. That is all.

So tomorrow I go to Blissdom Canada and we’ll see what it’s all about. I’ll be smoking cigarettes with the rejects in the lane way drinking coffee with some writers. If you want to come over and say hello, I’d love to meet you. If you want to hire me to write stories for money, I’d really love to meet you.

If you want me to share the exciting news about your product in exchange for crap I don’t need, let’s not waste each other’s time.

Squee.