Gone are the innocent days of yesteryear when you could count on young children to go door-to-door donning masks and extorting candy from vandalism-fearing citizens. Now it seems everybody wants in on the action regardless of age and proficiency in egging. There’s been a growing sense of discontent among people who have access to internet forums and advice columnists. I, for one, have had quite enough. In past years I have had a separate stash of good candy for the deserving kids and a stash made up of my kids’ last year’s reject candies for everybody else. But no more! Let’s join together and shame those other would-be trick-or-treaters into staying home altogether and save ourselves the mild discomfort of seeing them at our doorsteps.
Say it with me. “This year, I won’t be giving candy to:”
The worst! Some of these so-called kids are taller than me. What makes them think they can get away with wearing half-assed costumes and trolling our city streets for sugary treats? Isn’t it about time they grew up and started binge drinking in ravines and impregnating one another? In my day, teens were too busy smoking pot behind dumpsters to be bothered trying to score candy. Anyway, their parents should have enough leftovers to quell serious munchies for once and for all.
Pussy Riota Russian feminist punk-rock collective consisting of 12 members, three of whom were arrested in March 2012 following a protest performance (and video release of the performance) on the sanctuary of Moscow’s Cathedral of Christ the Saviour. Two members (who are both mothers of young children) have just been convicted of hooliganism and sentenced to two years in the Russian prison camps that were the Soviet-era Gulag.
So, Pussy Riot, the most kick-ass feminist statement costume of the year. Not that I had to tell you, dear readers.
How to make your own Pussy Riot balaclava. (This is not the only way.)
I got these in the girls section at Walmart for a dollar apiece. They are thin, and tightly knit and double layered.
Turn each hat inside out and inspect the seam. Carefully cut the inside layer of fabric around all the seams so the hat becomes one longer single layer.
It will look all ziggy-zaggy at the bottom, like this. It’s fine.
Put on the hat. (Yes, that’s really me. Don’t be scared.) Use chalk to mark where your eyes and mouth are.
Cut small eye and mouth holes. Remember, you can always make them larger, but you can’t make them smaller. Try the balaclava on a few times and make small adjustments to the size and shape of your holes.
Pair with a brightly coloured dress, contrasting tights and punk rock boots.
This shit is SERIOUS. ~Colum 2008, age 2 (Not an exact quote.)
I’ve got to admit, Halloween is one of the best things about becoming a parent. Trick or treating was serious business when I was a kid; it was practically a sport. My dad would take me and my closest brother out until he was too tired to continue. Then he’d take me back out until the porch lights were turned off and the jack o’lanterns were extinguished. We got a crap load of candy, that’s for sure, but it was about more than that. There was something exhilarating about walking around the neighbourhood after dark, seeing how many houses we could get in. Dressing up was all right, too, I guess, but it was never my favourite part.
So when I finally hung up my trick or treating hat — at the ripe old age of 15 or 16 or so … yes, I was one of those teens — the holiday lost much of its appeal. Oh, I’d scrape together the requisite half-assed costume if I had to for a party or whatever, sure. But mostly I figured that Halloween was for kids and my time had passed.
Until now! Taking my kids trick or treating is every bit as much fun as going myself, if not more fun. There are some hard core trick or treating streets in this ‘hood, too, where people go all out and decorate their front lawns and wait in costume on their porches with bowls of treats. In fact, check out this relic of a blog post from Colum’s first real night of trick or treating. I even love getting the kids dressed up in their costumes. Who knew?
This shit is SERIOUS. ~Colum 2008, age 2 (Not an exact quote.)
Just to make things interesting, of course, Irene had to be born on Halloween. So not only did I have to miss out on Colum’s second year of trick or treating, I now have to figure out how to work a birthday around the most ghoulish of holidays every single year. So far, we’ve done a family birthday party the weekend before Halloween and then just focused on costumes and candy the day of. If she wants to have costume parties for her birthday down the road, then that’s fine, but I’d just as soon keep the celebrations distinct for now.
This year Halloween has brought another childhood favourite back into my life. Allan Candy is celebrating their 77th year and sent me a generous amount of candy to test drive. Remember the Big Foot and Hot Lips? Those are the ones! The Canadian company sells a variety of gummy candy (Intense Jubes and Jellies, Chewy Rascalz and Fruit Buddies) that are peanut-free and individually wrapped. They’re just as good as you remember and perfect for giving out too.
Disclosure – I am participating in the Allan Candy Company program by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation for my participation in this campaign. The opinions on this blog are my own.
You can file this under more shameless neighbourhood plugging and free Halloween fun for the family. Brought to you by the Junction BIA and the Rue Morgue House of Horror:
I was all set to write a vitriolic rant against the idea that kids should go to Halloween parties rather than trick-or-treating. Over the past few years (admittedly, before I had a kid) I seem to remember a lot of ado about the nutritional and safety related dangers of trick-or-treating. This campaign against the practice of encouraging our children to roam the streets at night, going door to door, and begging for candy from strangers seemed to coincide with a marked decrease in the number of children ringing my doorbell (and my parents’). And I was livid. How dare they mess with one of the all-time great childhood pastimes! (Trick-or-treating was one of the things North America had all over the rest of the world, but it seems to be spreading.) Proper parental supervision and rationing of the loot is enough to offset any concerns — so relax!
Happily, even though I was all set to rant on and on, it looks like trick-or-treating is back and stronger than ever. Last night we took Colum out for the first time and stumbled upon the magical fairy-tale land of trick-or-treating. Our route was a straight shot down Pacific from Dundas to Humberside — cutting from the heart of the Junction to the Northern tip of the more affluent High Park area. All down the street every second or third house was fully decked out with multiple Jack-o-lanterns and skeletons and witches and ghouls, you name it. (Later that night we had to stop twice to unravel insane amounts of fake cobwebbing from the wheels of the stroller.) Most people were sitting out on their porches or steps, many in full costume, and handing out generous amounts of good treats. But the street! The sidewalk was packed shoulder to shoulder with parents and kids of all ages hustling up and down walk ways and zig-zagging across the street. Neighbours were calling out greetings and gushing over each other’s costumes. Oh, it was good fun! Colum was so into it, he refused to stop. We were out for over an hour even though he was so tired he could barely walk a straight line.
I don’t know what’s changed, if anything. We lived in the same area last year and while Colum was too young to go out, I took him for a walk and there were hardly any kids in sight. Maybe we went out walking too late last year. Or maybe it was the unbelievably mild yet crisp fall weather we had last night. The just-past-full moon shining over a half-shed canopy of maples and oaks while piles of leaves crunch underfoot. It could just be the huge numbers of young families in this neighbourhood or that it was a Wednesday. It seems that Halloween is gaining ground as the high secular holiday of the year and people are just really into. Whatever the case, it looks like trick or treating might be back in vogue and I love, love, love it!
