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The M Word: Best book bet on motherhood

TheMWord

Shop local, they say. Support the arts. Feed the mind.

Yet here I am shopping the big box stores days before Christmas, looking to buy as many things for as many people for as little as possible. I’m sad I didn’t have my act together sooner. I could have done my holiday shopping sooner, certainly. But, mostly, I wish I’d told you about this gem of a book when it was first released in the early spring — or at least earlier this holiday season.

The M Word: Conversations about Motherhood is a collection of essays, poems and illustrations by Canadian women, edited by local book blogger Kerry Clare and published by the New Brunswick press, Goose Lane Editions. It’ll put a check mark in most of your feel-good boxes.

Of course, that’s not why you should buy the book. You should buy it because it’s a damn good anthology. The M Word holds motherhood up and then turns it this way and that, exploring it from all different angles. The act of becoming a mother is one of the most identity-shaking experiences for most women. It is rivaled only by the decision to not become a mother. And Clare sets it all out for us here, giving voice to motherhood (or the lack thereof) in many of its myriad forms.

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Peaches Geldof, motherhood and how we still don’t get it

Peaches Geldof

I spent the morning reading about Peaches Geldoff. Strangely, I’m having a hard time processing this one. She’s a pseudo-celebrity made famous by birthright. I really didn’t know much about her apart from the occasional tabloid headline. This doesn’t feel like a deep personal loss for me and yet I can’t shake this sense of profound sadness.

It’s always sad when someone so young and full of potential dies, of course. But her two babies are the real gut wrenchers. It’s the stuff of nightmares, after all, leaving your children motherless. Since becoming a parent nearly eight years ago, I can barely stomach the news some days. It’s physically painful to hear about a baby falling out of a window, a child being run over or a young mother losing her life.  Of course parents don’t have a monopoly on grief and you don’t have to be a parent to feel the weight of those kinds of loss. But for me, personally, these kinds of stories became much more difficult to bear when I became a mother. There’s an intense visceral response that takes my breath away.

So I thought that was probably it. A young mother with two sons under two-years-of age loses her life and it’s just the normal punch in the gut from fate and justice that I was feeling.

Then I read this New York magazine story.

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Motherhood is not …

 

In “really, freaking obvious things that Rebecca is still trying to wrap her head around” news, I scrawled out some thoughts about motherhood on an actual piece of paper yesterday. I was having one of those moments in which having the best of both worlds really feels like having the worst of them. Or, rather, it feels like I’m just doing a shitty job all around.