Tag: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is upon us once again and with it the warm and fuzzy memories of holiday time spent with family in years past. Let me tell you a story.

Ed and I were newlyweds or maybe we weren’t even married yet. We definitely didn’t have any children. I was at his parents’ home helping to prep for Thanksgiving dinner and went down to the basement to get something from the fridge. Upon returning to the kitchen, Ed’s sister said, “Rebecca. Is it true that you like the turkey neck?!” “What? No!”

And thus I narrowly avoided a lifetime of Thanksgiving turkey neck dinners.

Because while I’d been in the basement, my mother-in-law was planning on saving and preparing the neck. When my sister-in-law and her boyfriend started to make fun of the idea they were shushed. “Rebecca likes the neck,” she hissed. And, of course, if she had been labouring under the mistaken idea that I love turkey necks and had gone to the trouble of cooking the neck just from me, I would have eaten it. Because that’s the way I was raised. And, choking back bits of gristle, I would have raved about how delicious it is. Because that’s the way I was raised. And then how do you ever back out of being served your very own special turkey neck year after year? You don’t.

Navigating the minefield choppy waters delightful challenges *ahem* of holiday dinners with your extended family can be tricky. So here are a few points to keep in mind this Thanksgiving, no matter what part of the turkey you’re feasting on.

1. Pitch in: Help with the prep or the cooking or the table setting. Cut up some bread, serve some wine. At the very least help clear the table and take a shift washing dishes. It’s the right thing to do and, very often, it really is the best way to visit with the host. You may even keep a turkey neck off your dinner plate by showing up early!
2. Enjoy what you can: You may be a vegetarian or a vegan or on a gluten-free diet. Maybe you just can’t handle onions or parsley or whatever. You already know there’s going to be stuff you can’t eat; you’re used to it. A good host will try to make an alternative main, but that doesn’t always happen. So if you end up with a plate of undressed salad and some roasted squash, just remember that it’s about more than the food. Depending on who’s cooking, you could be lucky you didn’t have to eat that stuffing after all!
3. Meet people halfway: Sitting beside Aunt Rhonda and hearing about her lap dogs trip to the vet might not be your idea of a good time, but at least she has a story to tell. Be a good guest and come prepared with a couple stories and conversation points to bring up with various people. There’s nothing worse than awkward silences and, in many cases, the further you can steer the table talk away from politics and religion, the better.
4. Let things slide with the kids: I’ve learned from a long series of trial and error that holiday dinners are not the time or place for making sure your kids eats their veggies. Actually, try to ply them with some raw veggie sticks and fresh fruit early in the day, so you’re not even tempted to worry about it. I do believe in sitting the kids at the main table and offering them the dinner everyone is having, but chances are they’ve already snacked on olives and bread sticks and are saving room for pie. It’s fine.
5. Don’t get sloppy: Getting drunk may seem like a good idea, oh boy, may it ever. But overindulging does very little to help in-law and extended family relations. Remember that time Uncle Gord got out the video camera and then fell on the dog? Yeah. Don’t be Uncle Gord. Do keep a nice bottle at home to look forward to, though. You’ll deserve it.

What am I forgetting? There are so many variables, it’s hard to list them all. I want to hear your best “getting through holiday dinner” tips.