Gone are the innocent days of yesteryear when you could count on young children to go door-to-door donning masks and extorting candy from vandalism-fearing citizens. Now it seems everybody wants in on the action regardless of age and proficiency in egging. There’s been a growing sense of discontent among people who have access to internet forums and advice columnists. I, for one, have had quite enough. In past years I have had a separate stash of good candy for the deserving kids and a stash made up of my kids’ last year’s reject candies for everybody else. But no more! Let’s join together and shame those other would-be trick-or-treaters into staying home altogether and save ourselves the mild discomfort of seeing them at our doorsteps.
Say it with me. “This year, I won’t be giving candy to:”
The worst! Some of these so-called kids are taller than me. What makes them think they can get away with wearing half-assed costumes and trolling our city streets for sugary treats? Isn’t it about time they grew up and started binge drinking in ravines and impregnating one another? In my day, teens were too busy smoking pot behind dumpsters to be bothered trying to score candy. Anyway, their parents should have enough leftovers to quell serious munchies for once and for all.
This shit is SERIOUS. ~Colum 2008, age 2 (Not an exact quote.)
I’ve got to admit, Halloween is one of the best things about becoming a parent. Trick or treating was serious business when I was a kid; it was practically a sport. My dad would take me and my closest brother out until he was too tired to continue. Then he’d take me back out until the porch lights were turned off and the jack o’lanterns were extinguished. We got a crap load of candy, that’s for sure, but it was about more than that. There was something exhilarating about walking around the neighbourhood after dark, seeing how many houses we could get in. Dressing up was all right, too, I guess, but it was never my favourite part.
So when I finally hung up my trick or treating hat — at the ripe old age of 15 or 16 or so … yes, I was one of those teens — the holiday lost much of its appeal. Oh, I’d scrape together the requisite half-assed costume if I had to for a party or whatever, sure. But mostly I figured that Halloween was for kids and my time had passed.
Until now! Taking my kids trick or treating is every bit as much fun as going myself, if not more fun. There are some hard core trick or treating streets in this ‘hood, too, where people go all out and decorate their front lawns and wait in costume on their porches with bowls of treats. In fact, check out this relic of a blog post from Colum’s first real night of trick or treating. I even love getting the kids dressed up in their costumes. Who knew?
This shit is SERIOUS. ~Colum 2008, age 2 (Not an exact quote.)
Just to make things interesting, of course, Irene had to be born on Halloween. So not only did I have to miss out on Colum’s second year of trick or treating, I now have to figure out how to work a birthday around the most ghoulish of holidays every single year. So far, we’ve done a family birthday party the weekend before Halloween and then just focused on costumes and candy the day of. If she wants to have costume parties for her birthday down the road, then that’s fine, but I’d just as soon keep the celebrations distinct for now.
This year Halloween has brought another childhood favourite back into my life. Allan Candy is celebrating their 77th year and sent me a generous amount of candy to test drive. Remember the Big Foot and Hot Lips? Those are the ones! The Canadian company sells a variety of gummy candy (Intense Jubes and Jellies, Chewy Rascalz and Fruit Buddies) that are peanut-free and individually wrapped. They’re just as good as you remember and perfect for giving out too.
Disclosure – I am participating in the Allan Candy Company program by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation for my participation in this campaign. The opinions on this blog are my own.
