It’s the last day of school! Woohoo! Tonight I shall go out for drinks with my sister and not make anybody a lunch and not bother to set the alarm.
Then we will while away our days drinking lemonade and mint juleps on my wraparound veranda, the sweet smell of honeysuckle in the air. (Actually, come to think of it, that last part might be lifted from a Tennessee Williams play.)
And when I do finally rise in the morning the children will be happily reading nursery rhymes to one another as the morning light streams through the window. I will quickly and efficiently prepare them a wholesome breakfast and then take care of my housework while they play catch and blow bubbles in the backyard.
In the afternoon, Mary will nap as Colum and Irene work on some journaling (in French, of course) and I will retire to my basement office to write up several online articles at a rapid-fire pace, never once being sidetracked by Facebook, Twitter or a kick-ass ten-hour filibuster in Texas.
Then, as the afternoon heat subsides, the children and I shall walk around the neighbourhood, playing at the park and picking up fresh food for our dinner. We will return to our pristine home and I will quickly prepare a healthy meal made from fresh ingredients while the kids set the table and get washed up on their own.
Maybe I’ll make ice cream from scratch!
Okay, okay. Take 2.
I will wake up at 5am and go for a 30 minute jog. I will come home, hop in the shower and be ready to start my day by 6 am. I will work for 2 – 3 hours before preparing a wholesome breakfast for my family.
We will beat the heat by getting out of the house first thing and maybe even go swimming!
Okay. Take 3.
I’ll stay up until 3am writing to deadline and get woken up by the sounds of fighting and crashing four hours later. While I’m scrambling to get breakfast made Mary will poo on the floor, Colum will fall off something and start bleeding and Irene will decides she no longer eats toast or cereal or yogurt or fruit.
I’ll turn on the TV and stumble down to the computer and instantly waste half an hour on Facebook. Mary will come down and climb onto my lap, spilling a cup of milk someone else poured for her all over my keyboard. I’ll go back upstairs and stalk around yelling at nobody in particular about the mess.
Eventually we’ll get dressed and eat some Kraft Dinner and watch some more TV. I’ll do a minimal amount of work while the children make a maximum amount of mess. Indoor guilt will suddenly wash over me late in the afternoon and I will rush everyone out to a park, leave no time for dinner prep and end up getting take out.
The kids will refuse to go to bed until 10 pm which means I don’t really sit down to work until 11pm. But by then I’m already drunk.
Oh god, I’m so screwed.
And yet, today is the last day of school and I’m STILL LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BREAK. I’m that stupid.
I’ll let you know how it goes. Does anybody have money on the 5am run?
5 replies on “The Last Day of School”
Psst, I think you can do the 5 a.m. run.
I’ll even join you in your challenge. I want to stop being so tired all day at work. I think that means I need to stop hitting snooze 5 times.
My other half gets up at 5:40. So 6 sounds like a (god-awful) decent time.
This past winter I was motivated to run by women I follow on Twitter by using the #YouRunIRun hashtag. We tagged our tweets with that when we completed a run. Perhaps getting up early could see some sort of social motivational/accountability thing to it? Maybe?
If I can get in the rhythm to make that happen, I love that idea.
My plan is to wake up at 6:30, go to the gym from 7 to 8, shower, breakfast then work for an hour while the children bother their friends in the neighbourhood. We’ll do stuff together in the late morning/afternoon, then around 3 or 4 I’ll work for another hour before making dinner.
I have to work for two hours a day, which makes it easier than your job.
Problems with my plan:
– If the weather is bad the children will poke at me all morning instead of playing with neighbourhood friends.
– At 3:00 or 4:00 after a day of hanging out with my kids I am a zombie and in no state to work for an hour. I predict I will lie on the couch in a sweaty heap (or else we just plain won’t be home yet) and end up working in the evening when the kids are (finally) in bed, thus ruining every evening until September.
Maybe I should just order food every day and work instead of cooking. Wait, that will just use up all the money I earn working. Why do we bother again?
I really should work out how many hours I need to work a day instead of always feeling vaguely guilty about it when I do anything else.
Wait. I’m confused. Is someone coming after you at 5 a.m.? I mean, why would you run if there was no one chasing you??
We homeschool. The description of your summer routine is my EVERY DAY, except I get to, I mean, “have to” leave the house 3 nights a week to go to my other job.