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Work-At-Home Weekend Woes

IMAG1113_1_1_1It was an extra long weekend for us with a PA Day at school on Friday and then the holiday Monday. Most people love long weekends. They are always lobbying the government for more of them. “MOAR DAYZ OFF,” they say. In fact, it’s probably a good bet to tack a long weekend onto any sort of political objective you have. We want government-subsidized child care for all! AND A DAY OFF IN JUNE TO CELEBRATE! You can just see right wing, anti-tax types crumpling all over the place. “That’s not the role of government! What’s that, you say? I get a day off? Oh.”

I also expect to enjoy long weekends. I look forward to not having to make lunches and rush everyone out the door first thing. I look forward to having another parent around to blame when the girls mix a baking soda and molasses pudding on the kitchen floor. (Guys, you cannot make this stuff up.) And I do, in fact, enjoy spending time together as a family when I’m not otherwise having a total identity crisis/meltdown.

The more time I spend with my kids, it seems, the more I realize that I don’t do enough of it. I know, I know. Cry me a river, you “work-at-home” mom. But if I was actually working outside the home then at least I would be bringing home a real pay cheque instead of going crazy earning just enough here and there to keep us afloat. If I worked outside the home I would hire people to make sure my kids were well taken care of instead of turning on the TV for Irene during Mary’s afternoon nap and then rushing up and trying to force feed her all the stories and books and word games in a 20 minute window of down time.

Most of the time I feel pretty lucky. I get more time with my kids than full-time working parents get. I am not stuck at a job I hate for 40+ hours a week. I am able to earn a little bit working from home, doing the kind of work I want to do. But there’s something about long weekends, the combination of spending quality time with my children and spending very little time actually working, that makes me think I’m deluding myself. I’m with my kids a lot, sure. But even if I’m not sneaking away to write, I’m checking emails, logging in to social media and plotting my next post. I’m constantly spinning my wheels with zero financial stability.  Maybe this is the worst of both worlds.

So we finally made it out to the ROM to check out the Ultimate Dinosaur exhibit. Colum totally geeked out over all the interactive features and Mary went absolutely nuts over the tiniest of dinosaur skeletons. Irene just loved running around and taking it all in. A fun time was had by all even if their debit/credit system was down, making me feel like a dinosaur myself talking the cashier through the process of running my credit card through the old manual swipe machine. “You have to really lean into it. The faster the better.” The exhibit runs until the end of March Break, I believe.

We also managed to cram in a family shopping trip, a birthday celebration for my mother-in-law and a jam-packed holiday Monday.  The sheer quantity of quality time was dizzying. (The mountain of laundry I barely made a dent in will attest to that.) I am officially sated on time with my kids. I should be able to knuckle down and focus on work for another couple weeks, at least until March Break sends me back down the identity crisis spiral.

What do you guys think? Is the grass always greener or are you happy with your own work situation?

By Rebecca Cuneo Keenan

Rebecca Cuneo Keenan is a writer who lives in Toronto with her husband and three children.

3 replies on “Work-At-Home Weekend Woes”

I really do think the grass is always greener. Right now I work at home (a bit), which was always the grand plan, but I am hoping to get a job outside the home any time now (in process of career switch). There are definite pros to being at home right now, but I sometimes think I’m spending LESS time with the family, because when my husband is home, that’s often my work time (he took the kids away yesterday so I could work). We tried putting the youngest in daycare the days he’s not in school so I could just work in “regular” hours and we’d have weekends together again, but then I wasn’t bringing in enough work to make that viable, so took him back out. So if something comes up on the days I count on to work, when he’s home and I have a deadline, he watches too much TV or plays too many video games :( But then someone is sick, and I think “how would I do this if I had to go out to work?!” SAH, WOH, WAH, there are always challenges.
I think I’ll go play with my son now :)

I’m a SAHM and never ever want to go back to work. How ever the validation of a paycheck for all the work I do would be nice. I know the grass really is greener on my side, at least sometimes when it’s not covered in puke, paint, or poop. :)

I think this is really part of the larger discussion about judgement and support. While I am now a SAHM, I was a WOHM after #1 was born. In fact, he was like 6 months old when I went back and honestly, I could not get back to work fast enough. “Lemme outta here,” I was screaming! I felt bad taking him to daycare where he cried when I left. I felt bad when I’d pick him up at the end of the day and the provider would say “We had ice cream from the truck in the park; I hope that’s ok?” And it wasn’t – because it meant that I had to skip the treats with him. Now I’m home with #’s 1,2 & 3 and I feel bad because while I now have 3 businesses going, we can’t really afford swim lessons, or karate class, or any of the stuff they want to do. I’m bringing in money, and you know, I”m a fairly consistent contributor but really: it’s never enough. And I’m glad they’re back to school today too, let me tell you. Because honestly: what I like is my routine, however chaotic it may seem on the outside.

I think what matters is that when I’m not steeped in stinky diapers and skylanders and dishes and uneaten meals, I wouldn’t want my life any other way than it is. You’re an awesome Mom. Trust me: it takes one to know one. xoxo

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