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The made-in-Canada educational reading app that was 25 years in the making

I’m happy to be writing this post as part of sponsored series by the wonderful educational game, Ooka Island.

I’m the last person who would put any faith in a glorified video game to teach my kids to read. I allow them to play games in moderation, and if those games purport to teach the alphabet instead of, say, blowing up villagers, then all the better. But I would never actually expect my children to learn anything of substance, let alone something as fundamental as reading, from an app or a game.

Not until now.

As I wrote a couple weeks ago, I am thrilled to have been given the opportunity to use Ooka Island (as a compliment to reading actual paper books, of course) to help my two girls develop strong reading skills. It’s the real deal: a Canadian company based in P.E.I that is built on 25 years of research, experience and passion of it’s founder Dr. Kay MacPhee.

I will update the progress my girls have made (and there has already been lots) in another few weeks, but right now I want to share Ooka Island’s remarkable background story.

Made-in-Canada education app, Ooka Island

Kay MacPhee was a mom and school teacher in the 1960s when she set out on a mission to help her son who was profoundly deaf. She found the help she needed to teach her son to both speak and read fluently and began her life’s work helping others with hearing impairments to learn to read.

Amazingly, the techniques she used to help children with hearing problems also helped other kids and adults. Kay continued to work within the school system, researching and developing her own method for teaching literacy.

This led to the launch of SpellRead in 1994, a program designed to help older children and adults who struggle with reading. SpellRead was widely acclaimed, and ranked first by the largest clinical reading trial in the US, Power4Kids.

Up to this point, Kay had been focused on helping people who were having difficulty learning to read. But wouldn’t it be great to design a program that got young children off on the right foot from the start so they could become confident readers right from the beginning?

Enter Ooka Island. Together with children’s author Jim Barber, Kay designed a delightfully engaging online world that uses the same proven strategies she used in SpellRead to teach children between the ages of four to seven how to read.

***

I asked Kay how all these pieces fit together.

You began studying how to teach children to read by teaching kids with hearing problems. How did that help you identify the problems that even hearing children who struggle with reading have?

Amazing, only my son has asked me that question.

To teach the hearing impaired to speak, you have to teach the sounds of the language in-depth. You would use visual, tactile and auditory elements so they would learn the sound and its print (eg. /oo/ and ‘oo’) at the same time.

You would be teaching language through experience along with the print. Hearing Impaired children usually didn’t have problems in learning to read – their biggest difficulty was learning language, reading just happened as it was the easiest route to learning and they had the in-depth knowledge of sounds and their printed equivalent.

My son started in the regular classroom when he was in grade 4 and he was amazed at the children who couldn’t read well. He couldn’t believe how one boy in particular had a reading problem as he was the best speaker in the class, but when it came to reading, he read word by word, and had no fluency.

How does your research and success with the SpellRead program (which I believe is designed for older children and adults who struggle with reading) inform the Ooka Island lessons?

Whether it is intervention or learning to read for the first time, all children have to have the same process – you just approach it a little differently. To be a good reader (in English), you must know and be able to manipulate the 44 sounds of the language automatically. To read fluently, stories must contain text that is natural to the child’s experience. Both SpellRead and Ooka had to address these concepts and their activities are age appropriate for each group

What separates Ooka Island from other educational programs and games that claim to help early readers?

In Ooka Island, the 44 sounds of the English language are taught explicitly so that a child can learn not only to identify each sound but be able to do so automatically (within milliseconds), and use these sounds automatically in reading tasks such as blending, reading, and spelling.

At the same time, reading must be introduced early on in the learn-to-read process too. There are 85 books built into Ooka Island and they purposefully use a child’s natural language. They are written in a conversational style so that children realize that the print is the same as the oral language they would use in a similar situation. The text becomes ‘alive’ which helps make the transition from oral language to print so that they are able to read fluently.

Do you have a personal story or anecdote that speaks to your motivation for helping children become confident readers?

It was never a plan, I was a teacher of the hearing-impaired and was fortunate to meet and be taught by the experts in that field.

Then a doctor, an ENT specialist, started to send kids to me that were not hearing impaired, but had reading problems. His thinking was if I could teach hearing impaired to speak and read then I could teach these children to read. I was puzzled as I couldn’t understand how these children who had such high language had difficulty reading. But even though I had no answers people kept coming, young children, adults, etc.

I even said to my colleague, I have no idea why these people are coming to me for help. Her answer (and I think it is the answer to your question) was, “You are their last hope.” I do believe it was from that moment on I started looking for the answer and as I tried to help some of these children/adults, I began to learn what the underlying problems were and began looking in the right direction for the answers.

What happens if a child comes to Ooka Island later and they are still struggling with reading after they finish grade 2? Do kids age out of Ooka?

The 24-level game and 85 eBooks were designed for children JK – Grade 2, so they may not be as compelling for older children as they are for younger ages, even though we’ve seen some exceptions. But whether a child is five-years-old or 15 (or even an adult), they have to learn the same sounds and the same activities such as listening for specific phonemes, blending, and so on.

Do they lose interest?

In many learning situations, whether child or adult, we sometimes don’t want to continue pushing ourselves – this is either when we remind ourselves of the end goal or a parent/teacher encourages us to keep moving towards the end goal.

Or if they still aren’t reading well by the end of grade two, say, does that indicate that they need further intervention?

If children are still struggling by the end of grade 2, it could be more reading is needed (share-reading in which a parent or caregiver takes turns reading pages) at their reading level. It also could be that they have not learned to manipulate the sounds automatically and more training would be required in that area.

***

Dr. Kay MacPhee’s passion for helping people of all ages develop a love of reading is clear, and it’s that passion coupled with decades of research and experience that has sold me on making Ooka Island part of our early reading experience.

This is the second post in a three-part series sponsored by Ooka Island. I shared my belief that strong reading skills are the most important thing for a child to develop in the first post. Follow along to see what a difference Ooka Island makes for my little readers.

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Sticky messes

Not wanting to look like a bad parent, I chased the girl down the street with a baby wipe. She fell just as I reached out toward her. As I pretended to comfort her with a hug, I held fast and wiped at the sticky breakfast mess on her face.
It took a bit more wiping than I thought it would. The girl was in a full cry as the school bus pulled up.
“Mommy, I just want to stay with you,” she cried out and clung to my jacket. ”
“Don’t do this to me,” I said.
I lifted her sobbing body to the top of the steps and stood back for the doors to close. The bus drove off.
You can’t send them to school with a dirty face. How would that look?

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We took the kids to the TFC

We’re a pretty literate and art-loving family. We have shelves of books and records that line our walls. We encourage creativity and like visiting museums and galleries. The kids take piano. You know, that kind of thing.

But we have also been having a great time enjoying sports as a family.

We just came off a summer that was filled with t-ball tournaments and practices and games and watching the Jays on TV. Hockey is starting, too, and both Colum and Irene play. (Mary demands to know when she can start too.)

So we jumped at the chance to go to a blogging event at the Toronto FC last weekend, rounding out our Toronto live sporting event checklist nicely. Leafs, Jays, Argos, Rock, Marlies, the baseball Maple Leafs, and now the TFC. Checkity, check, check.

I really love that BMO Field is in the CNE grounds. It brings back childhood memories of watching Jays games with my dad and brother in the cheap seats before hitting up the midway rides while the Ex was on. We found street parking in Liberty Village and walked through the tunnel from the Go Train station to get there. (But it was a frenzy of happy TFC-fan madness squeezing back out through that tunnel, so heads up. Be prepared to duck out early or to wait it out if you take that route with kids.)

Of course, our event had a few special perks.

TFC warm up field level

We got to check out the team warming up at field level.

TFC players' tunnel

Then there were high fives in the players tunnel. (Little Mary was SO into that.)

Dwayne De Rosario

Meeting the TFC and the Canadian national team’s all-time leading scorer, Dwayne De Rosario.

20150926_145951

Then there was watching the game itself and noshing on foot-long hot dogs and giant soft pretzels.

My personal highlight was when I asked Irene if she wanted to help me get some food at the concession stand while the game was on and she looked torn. “But … I don’t want miss any of the game!” That’s my not-quite seven-year-old girl. Of course, Mary was eager to come help me which was really no help at all.

If any of you are TFC fans and want to get DISCOUNTED TICKETS for either the October 14th or October 17th game, listen carefully. Follow this link to order your tickets and then enter the promo code KEENANTFC. Then have fun!

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Brunch after baby

Brunch after baby at Bareburger

“You know what I miss the most? Brunch.”

“Me too.”

This was an actual conversation I once had with my sister-in-law, and truer words have never been spoken.

That’s not to say  you can’t go out for brunch after you have kids. I mean, on the face of it, brunch is the perfect family-friendly meal. It’s casual, it’s before nap time, and between pancakes, scrambled eggs and fruit salad, odds are pretty good your kids will eat something.

But the reality is that what was once a relaxing, indulgent, weekend pastime is now some sort of Olympic-caliber extreme sport that involves speed, juggling, super-human levels of distraction, an eating competition, and then finally math. You have to place your order as soon as possible — before you even get seated ideally but they frown on that. Then you have to keep hungry and impatient tots seated and quiet (read “not screaming”) until the food comes which could take a small eon since the place is packed and there’s only so much food mortal human beings can cook at one time, restaurant or not.

Finally, the food comes and you ask for the bill right away because you know that you don’t want to have to subject the other patrons to your children for one second longer than necessary. You cut up, dole out, de-garnish, and otherwise get all your kids’ food taken care of until you finally sit down to cold eggs and soggy toast. Everybody inhales their food as quickly as possible and then you suck back your coffee while dropping a minimum of $50 on the table.

See, it’s possible to go out for brunch with a young family. It just sucks.

It sucks so bad that when I got an invitation to check out the new family-friendly brunch menu at the Toronto location of Bareburger, I only took my nine-year-old. I wanted to enjoy my meal for once and I didn’t know what the lay of the land was.

It turns out that quick service, retro cartoons, large and accessible washrooms, and delicious kids’ menu means I probably could have brought the whole gang.

And that really is the key. Go to a place before it gets busy. (I cannot stress that enough. Don’t do line ups with little kids.) And go to a place where you know your family is going to be comfortable.

Oh, and did I mention chicken and waffles? And milkshakes? (Thanks, Bareburger. Those were delicious.)

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So pathetic that I wrote this post on the subway using my phone

So my kids are in school now which gives me a little breathing room. It does not, however, seem to turn me into a fully functional adult human being.

Like just now, for example. I figured if I brushed on some mascara and threw a blazer over my jeans and t-shirt, I would be evening-event ready.

I literally had one foot out the door when I remembered my keys were in the kitchen. There, I happened to glance down and realized I’d managed to dust the entire front of my black t-shirt with flour while making dinner.

I wiped myself off and was running down the street when I noticed a fluffy tangle of threads clinging to the top of my pants. I tried to pluck it off and it started unravelling. Stretchy threads were being pulled from all the way across my waist like I was a worn out teddy bear.

It was . . .

And then suddenly I understood.

I was wearing an old pair of period panties and the elastic waist band was unravelling.

I was going out to mingle with people at a professional event with a wet t-shirt and ever-expanding cluster of granny-panty threads hanging from my pants.

But people will notice that I’m wearing good mascara, right?

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A delightful true story full of Christmas spirit

Last week my friend Aaron Milic posted the most delightful story on Facebook and he gave me permission to share it here.  Aaron had visited The Bay at Yonge and Queen and shared a picture of a Christmas display with the caption, “Way too early, Bay.” Here’s what happened after, in Aaron’s words:

"Way too early, Bay."

“Way too early, Bay.”

This story is too good not to share.

After I posted my picture of the Christmas decorations at the Bay and said it was “way too early,” I had some dinner in the Eaton Centre food court: a giant Kale salad.

I got a nice seat at a table for four. An older man with a long white beard, round glasses, a fedora, and hearing aid sat down right next to me, and said in a slight German accent, “Ah, I should have gotten what you have there.” He just had a big cookie in his hand. I pointed to where I got the salad from, and he said, “I haven’t been down here in many years; I live up north now.”

He then went on to talk about how much Yonge Street has changed, how it seemed cleaner and safer now. He asked me, “So what do you do for recreation?” and I told him I sing in an a cappella quartet and that my main job is DJing weddings.

He said, “Ah, you are in the arts, as am I. I play the uh…” and he started turning his left hand slowly in a circle and I said, “Oh, you’re an organ grinder?” He smiled and said ,”Yes, you guessed it! That’s what I do.” I said that my father was born in Germany and had mentioned the organ grinders, and he seemed happy that my father was German. He talked about Germany a bit and his profession.

As I finished my salad, I said, “Well, next year my group is doing a Christmas concert. If it seems appropriate, maybe we could hire you to be a part of it.” He replied, “That sounds like fun, but as long as it’s not too close to Christmas. I’m always very busy in December.”

He reached into his wallet and handed me the card pictured below. I said, “Oh, your name is Klaus? My name is Aaron.” And he just smiled, as if he already knew my name, shook my hand, winked, and walked away.

Organ Grinder Klaus

I don’t usually encourage children to read this blog. (In fact, I discourage it.) But for this, I’ll make an exception.

Aaron Milic is a Toronto-based wedding DJ at Impact Entertainment and is part of the a cappella singing group, After Hours. I’m so glad he took the time to tell us such a charming story.

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Indoor school shoes and the germaphobic gluttony of our time

Indoor school shoes waste

Image credit via Flickr cc license.

“Mom, my teacher says I need indoor shoes for school. Ones that haven’t ever been worn outside.”

HULK. SMASH.

This isn’t my first time around the grade school block, so it’s not that I’m surprised. It’s just that …

ARRGH! SMASH! SMASH!

Every time I think about how utterly unnecessary it is for my kids to …

STILL. SMASHING …. OKAY. Now, I’m good.

Sorry ’bout that. I know from talking to other parents, and from airing out my grievances on Twitter last night, that you either completely agree with me and are in the midst of your own Hulk smash, or you think I’m crazy. So let me show you around my crazy.

First, you need to understand my absolute, undying, belief that good running shoes are the absolute, best, everyday shoe for growing kids of any gender. They need these shoes to participate in gym classes, but they also need them to support all the flat out running, jumping, climbing and playing they do all the time.

So my preference (and the obvious choice for most parents) is to buy each child one pair of quality running shoes at the end of every summer that they can basically wear all the time until winter. Then they will leave those shoes at school and wear boots to and from school until spring. This way I only have to buy one pair each per child per year of running shoes, winter boots, rain boots, sandals, dress shoes and assorted specialty items like skates, cleats and dancing shoes. I just feel like that’s enough.

But no. Many schools (but not all), and some teachers (but not all) within schools where there is no official policy, ask that children also bring indoor shoes (that really have to be running shoes for gym) to be kept at school during the fall and spring. So, if I want my kids to have good running shoes for gym class and for outdoor play, that means two pairs per kid per year!

When I was a child, I cannot imagine the schools demanding that families provide two pairs of the same kind of shoe for their child. Honestly, at our school, kids were lucky if they had warm boots in the winter. Of course, we also ate peanut butter everyday and thought that juice boxes counted as a “fruits and vegetables” serving or two. It was a simpler time.

Simpler time or not, buying extra pairs of shoes is still a stretch for many families. That’s, what, an extra $40 or $50 per child, that could go toward anything else. For a great many people that is money that would be better spent on groceries, rent, debt repayment, extracurricular activities, or things like books and schools supplies. For other people the extra cost doesn’t require such a personal sacrifice, but that doesn’t mean it’s less wasteful. To be honest, this year we can find the money for a second pair of runners for our kids. We’ll be all right. 

But that money could have gone toward further supporting our school’s fundraising efforts, sponsoring a friend who is raising money for charity, paying down debt, saving for the kids’ university educations, or helping a Syrian refugee. There are children in the world who have no shoes, but we need to buy our kids two pairs of the same bloody shoes?

That’s double the number of shoes that end up in a landfill, too, because we can’t bear the idea of wearing the same shoes inside and outside of a building. As I asked on Twitter last night, “When did we become so germaphobic that special inside shoes are always necessary?”

It’s not about the germs, many people said. It’s about the dirt. Okay, fine. Substitute “dirtaphobic” for “germaphobic” then. I think it’s all part of a general societal trend for increased cleanliness and over-sanitation. It’s a  trend, by the way, that scientists think might actually be making us sicker.

I mean, schools are public buildings that house hundreds of children all day, every day. Of course there’s going to be dirt! You can make the kids change their shoes outside their classrooms, but there’s still dirt in the halls. There’s dirt in the stairwells. There’s dirt clinging to their grubby little bodies. There’s little bugs living in their hair half the time, for fuck’s sake.

It’s kind of like when parents insist on spoon feeding their toddlers for months and years on end to prevent a mess. You know what’s easier? Letting them learn to feed themselves and then wiping everything down after.

I’ve also heard the theory that schools have cut back on custodial and cleaning services. I have no idea if that’s right, but it does seem plausible. It does not, however, follow that the cost of keeping the floors reasonably clean should fall onto the shoulders of the families. Let the floors get dirty, I say! And then have them cleaned every once in a while. They are floors.

Alas, it not up to me to shatter the prevailing orthodoxies of our time. All I can do is get all the complaining out of my system. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some shoe shopping to do.

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My top five back-to-school tech picks (plus one just for me)

This is the third in a three-part series about helicopter parenting and back-to-school tech shopping that I’m writing as Best Buy Canada‘s parenting spokesperson. Here’s what looks good to me this year.

We all want to give our kids the best learning tools possible and to set them up for a successful school year. But kids and families really do have wildly different needs (and budgets.) You’re average kindergarten student doesn’t actually need any tech at all. He’s still getting max stimulation from crayons and building blocks. Your ultra-creative 16-year-old, though, might really benefit from platforms and software that support graphic design. And what you want or need to buy often depends on what you already own. So the smartest thing to do, by far, is to actually talk to the front-line staff at your local Best Buy. Those Blue Shirts are there to help you decide exactly what your kid does (and does not) need.

That said, here’s what I’m drooling over this year. My top-five tech tools that parents should consider (and one that I want just for me.)

Microsoft Surface Pro 3

Microsoft Surface Pro 3

Tablets have been the biggest item on the learning tech front for a while. Mobility is their key virtue because what good is the tool that you don’t have with you? And they really are great for pulling up reading material, videos, pictures and online browsing. But they really don’t work as laptop replacements; they are awkward to type on and since they lack a full operating system, they often don’t support key software or work with other devices.

That’s why I don’t even think of the Microsoft Surface Pro 3 as a tablet. It’s a full operating system within the body of a tablet. That means you can run any program you would have on your laptop (*cough cough* Word.) It has an adjustable kickstand so that it will stand up and you can buy a magnetic keyboard to work with it. But it’s also a kick-ass tablet with all the high-res, touch screen, and camera features you’d expect; plus it comes with a Surface Pen so you can take handwritten notes too.

If I had to buy one thing to do everything, this would be it.

Asus Zenbook 13.3

ASUS 13.3 Laptop Gold

But if all you need, want or can afford is a basic laptop, you can still get an excellent model for half the price of a Surface Pro. This Asus Zenbook has a zippy processor speed with more than enough memory. It has a great display, eight hours worth of battery power per charge and (this is key) it only weighs 2.6 pounds.

Lifeproof fre power iPhone case

Lifeproof fre power

Of course, your high school and university students are going to have a phone, too. And if you’re paying for that phone, you probably don’t want to pay to replace it — over and over again. Lifeproof phone cases (for iPhone and Samsung) are waterproof, drop-proof, snow and dirt-proof. And the newest iPhone case shown above even holds a backup charge so now matter how exciting your child’s life, they can still keep in touch.

GoPro HERO

GoPro Hero

I happen to have a kid who is really into making movies and documentaries. The technology for getting a feel for how to execute those kinds of projects is now actually within reach which is awesome. The Go Pro is a tiny, high-res video camera that can be carried around or mounted to a helmet, handlebar, or just about anywhere. It has fancy technology that evens out shaking and jostling for a clear picture. Some models also boast built-in wifi and bluetooth, high-fidelity mics, time-lapse and various other camera modes, and are waterproof.

Skullcandy Hesh 2 headphones

Skullcandy Hesh

These are solid performing mid-priced headphones that are also Bluetooth-enabled and have a built-in microphone for taking phone calls. Headphones may seem like a frill when we’re talking about back-to-school needs, but supporting a love of music and drowning out background noise while studying are two pretty essential functions if you ask me.

Rebecca Minkoff leather wristlet for Galaxy S6 (plus it holds two cards)

Rebecca Minkoff Leather Wristlet

I’m not going to lie. This one’s for me.

Big thanks again to Best Buy Canada for bringing me on board. The other week I gushed about my experience in an actual helicopter over Toronto. Last week I talked about why we really do want to hover over our kids when we’re buying tech. 

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Spending lots of money on back-to-school tech for your kids? Of course you want to hover.

This is the second in a three-part series about helicopter parenting and back-to-school tech shopping that I’m writing as Best Buy Canada‘s parenting spokesperson. What does helicopter parenting have to do with back-to-school shopping anyway?

#permissiontohover

I think the truth is that we’re all a little helicopter. Even the most laid-back parents among us have something we like to have control over. For some of us, it’s food. Run all around the neighbourhood, but you WILL eat those vegetables. Safety is a huge one, of course. Families who have a cottage on a lake will have strict water safety rules you don’t want to mess with.

For me, the two areas I need to hover over are city traffic and technology. I will be crossing busy streets with my kids until they hit double digits and there’s no promise I’ll stop then. Drivers be crazy!

And, of course, technology is just a huge area of worry and confusion for most parents. We’re totally scared of it.

For one, the tech world won’t stay still. Tablets were getting smaller and then phones started getting bigger and laptops got lighter and you can still buy an e-reader just for books. How many gigahertzes do we need? What’s a Pentium? And why are we keeping things in clouds?

Of course, your kid isn’t intimidated by any of that tech jargon, is he? Most kids are more than happy to tell you exactly what they think they need. And just like anything they claim to really need, chances are pretty good it’s actually just something they want. Sure, you need new running shoes. But no, they don’t actually need to be Nike Air Max.

But unlike shoes or, say, a winter coat, it’s harder for parents to put they’re foot down and say this is all you actually need. Because we don’t really know, do we? And if our children need this technology to set them up for success at school, we don’t want to mess with that. So what happens is we often wind up listening to the kids and simply getting them whatever they say they need.

Listening to our children is a good thing. Dropping untold hundreds of dollars on a piece of technology without finding out for yourself whether it was really the best choice for your child and your family is not so good. And that is why Best Buy wants to give parents permission to hover right now.

When you go into Best Buy to shop for a new laptop, tablet, printer, phone case, fitness tracker, video camera or whatever it is you need, the staff are there to help you make sure you make the smart choice. You shouldn’t completely disregard what your child thinks she needs — she may be right — but you should probably talk to someone who is actually an expert on all the different makes and models that are available. (At Best Buy they carry all the different brands and don’t work on commission, so you really are getting impartial advice.)

Because it’s not just about deciding between a laptop and a tablet. (Which is totally hard enough, by the way! Do we really need to have both? Why do we have to choose between portability and functionality?) As our kids get older, their interests are going to be supported by different kinds of technology than some of their friends have. Is your kid into graphic design? Programming? Documentary film making? High-performance athletics? Or maybe you really just need a solid machine for the home for internet research and word processing and that is all for this year, thankyouverymuch. Whatever the case, front line staff will have the expertise to recommend the best product for your money.

Best Buy also has the Geek Squad, a team of specialized tech experts, who you can hire for any trouble shooting from set up to viruses down the lane. Seriously, you might even want to bring last year’s sluggish laptop to the Geek Squad counter to find out if they get it working better before deciding to buy a new one. It’s not always about buying a brand new product.

When it comes down to it, we are talking about spending significant amounts of money on our children’s education. Of course parents want to hover. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Big thanks again to Best Buy Canada for bringing me on board. Last week I gushed about my experience in an actual helicopter over Toronto. Next week I’ll be highlighting my favourite tech picks for this back-to-school season.

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Trophies for everyone! (Sorry, James Harrison.)

Trophies for everybody! (Sorry, James Harrison.)

Image credit via Flickr cc license.

I don’t believe in catering to my kids’ tastes when it comes to dinner. I generally try to feed them food they like for breakfast, lunch, and snacks, but I also think it’s important that they are exposed to a variety of different foods and encouraged to try them. It’s important to me, really, that I get to eat what I want, too.

So does that mean that no other parents should ever go for mac and cheese over mussels arrabiata? Is it never okay to offer a peanut butter sandwich and apple slices when coconut curry chicken has been patently rejected? Should we force all our children’s friends and our nieces and nephews to choke back kale salads or bust? Maybe restaurants should stop serving kids’ meals altogether!

But of course they shouldn’t. Just because I feel strongly about making dinner a constant struggle eating a good variety of food, doesn’t mean that also has to be everybody’s priority. To be honest, there are days when I can’t be bothered about it either.

Yet, when it comes to parenting, everyone thinks they know best. People like to insist that their own values and priorities should apply to everyone. Participation medals and trophies for kids are in the spotlight again after Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker, James Harrison, posted a picture to Instagram of the trophies his sons received. 

 

This is all fine and good. Harrison is a professional athlete and teaching his children what it means to work for and earn an award is obviously important to him. But, holy cow, is this ever a popular opinion — and one I’ve seen echoed many times before. Kids these days are given everything for nothing, the thinking goes. They are entitled brats who will never learn how to work hard or cope with disappointment. We must not mollycoddle them!

Ah, whatever, I say. What. Ever.

Give the little kids their trophies for coming out. The more competitive leagues for families and kids who are serious about athletics could probably ditch the participation trophies (if only to spare me yet another hunk of plastic in the home), but house league programs that are about learning and having fun should reward the kids for showing up.

For lots of kids (and especially for younger children), going to practices, learning new skills, and playing as part of a team, actually is an accomplishment. Have you never had to drag a reluctant child out of bed for skating lessons? Or bribed your kids to please just get in the car and go to the game it’s for your own good dammit why does this have to be so hard?

Some kids love team sports and thrive at them and will go on to compete at higher and higher levels. Others are shy, insecure, or physically uncoordinated, and it’s a challenge just to get them to join in. But it’s still good for them! Physical exercise, discipline and team spirit benefits all the players, good and bad alike.

So, at the end of the season, we should absolutely take a moment to recognize every player who worked to make the year a success. We should hand out medals or even trophies to our youngest and weakest to shine a light on the entire season for them. It’s something they can hang up or put on a shelf and look at with pride. When they look back on last year’s season, then, maybe they won’t remember the fights and the tantrums; they’ll remember earning an award as part of a team.

But of course that trophy still says “participant”.

Anybody who thinks kids are fooled into believing they’re the winners just because they got a trophy is fooling themselves. As soon as children are old enough and emotionally mature enough to care about competing, they know who the champions really are. Try having a “just for fun” game of anything with some ten-years and tell them not to keep score. Impossible! They will always keep score.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what we do. Because participation trophies mean as much to competitive children as a big, solid gold, “thanks for coming out” trophy would have meant to Harrison and the Pittsburgh Steelers when they lost the Superbowl XLV to the Greenbay Packers. They mean nothing at all.