How I spent my summer vacation: At the beach.

We didn’t travel to Europe or the Grand Canyon or the Galapagos Islands this summer. We didn’t even make it as far as Montreal. But we did get to spend a bit of time shuffling around as a family for pretty much the first time ever. This is the first year since 2006 in which we haven’t had a baby, moved house or written a book, so we were able to use at least a couple vacation days actually, er, vacationing. I know!

And while I’d be quite happy to never again have another baby or move house, there is a little beach-side cottage at Crystal Beach that I can totally see writing a book in. Well, I could if my children ever learn to swim and I no longer have to hover over them in knee-deep water. Also, if the beach cottage is air conditioned which it probably isn’t.

Shocker: I don’t much care for the heat. I read somewhere that it’s a good idea to link back to old posts to demonstrate to Google your depth of expertise in a given subject. I am gunning for top spot in the, “Oh mah gah, it so hot I can’t even,” “Sweating to DEATH. Please help. Why does god hate me so much?” and, “I took my kids to the park and now I’m shaking and vomiting from the heat. True story. Dying,” Google searches. It will pay off. I should probably add some Amazon affiliate links to air conditioners to those posts, come to think of it.

So when we decided to take a 30 minute detour and hit up Crystal Beach on our way home from Niagara Falls (thank you Courtyard by Marriott), it didn’t bother me that we wouldn’t be arriving until late in the afternoon. The last place I want to be in the summer between 11am and 3pm is outside in the world anyway. We got there around 4pm, right on schedule, and lugged three kids, a stroller and a bag of beach gear down a short path to the beach. Lots of people seemed to be packing up for the day as though the prime beaching hours were now over. I was sweating already. Why is there no shade on this stupid beach?! Oh right, that’s kind of the point. There were people laid out under beach umbrellas. There were others shaded by little half-tents. Then there were full-on beach cabanas set up with tables and chairs and sides that could open and close. That’s what I would need.

But we are not well-versed in the ways of the beach, especially not with three kids in tow. For example, do not, we learned, attempt to push a stroller across a sandy beach. Don’t be an idiot. Also, do dress your family for the beach before arriving or, at the very least, try to avoid entering the beach on the side opposite the one small, dank, two-stalled bathroom that will have to serve as a dressing room for you and two very young girls.

“DO NOT SIT ON THAT FLOOR WHILE YOU’RE NAKED. OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD.” I should probably go get them tested for everything.

We did finally get changed into our bathing suits and make our way to the water which was a lovely bed of soft sand drifts that let you wade out and out and out forever in the warm embrace of Lake Erie. And then the sun started to sink and the beach breathed in the cool evening air and it was like a dream you didn’t ever want to wake up from. 

The dreamscape continued into the evening when we stopped at the China Dragon Tavern and Restaurant in Chippawa, Ontario (which borders on Niagara Falls) simply because it looked so awesome from the outside. The inside was even better, a perfectly maintained and flourishing Chinese restaurant ripped straight out of the 50s with fresh and delicious Canadian-style Chinese food.

There was live music at the little gazebo in the town square, so we sat down on the grass and joined the other twenty or so people to enjoy the show. Mary turned leftover food into a bongo to back up the band and I added takeout containers to my Christmas list.

And breathe.

Impromptu reader poll! Beach or cottage? I will always choose beach over cottage, no contest.