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Not what moms want

I get many emails in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day telling me about various products and services that might make good gifts for moms. I guess this is because everybody knows that the only way people are going to know what to get for their mom is if their mom tells them what to get. AND THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT or else we’d all be bombarded with crap like this. These are real products, designed and produced with moms in mind.

The line at the Goodwill drop-off door would be around the block. Our faces would cramp under the strain of all that fake smiling. We’d cry. These are not what moms want.

3D laser images of our children suspended in a hunk of glass.

#notwhatmomswant

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For Mommy’s Special Day

Have I ever got the perfect Mother’s Day wish list for all you mommies out there! Let’s make this Mother’s Day, or, as we like to call it, Mommy’s Special Day, the best ever. Mommy, mommy, mommy!

  • First, mommy won’t be happy unless she has her special Mommy Juice (available in both red and white varieties). Who wouldn’t want to soften the focus on our inability to get through a day without drinking, after all? There’s also Mommy’s Time Out, because simply ordering a glass of wine is just too dignified for us mommies.
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MomWow

For Mother’s Day last weekend,

I was the lucky recipient of

four handmade cards,

a plastic flower in a painted pot,

a stack of pancakes and coffee served in bed

and this sign:

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Which I also like to hold like this:

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Because if there’s anything we’ve learned from Jersey Shore

(I know, there’s so much)

It’s that you add a “WOW” at the end of someone’s name

So everyone will know they’re supposed to be sexy.

Nursery school Mother’s Day crafts are finally moving in the right direction.

Next up,

Paper-mache pushup bras.

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Mother’s Day and More

This was the best Mother’s Day so far, mostly because Colum was so incredibly jazzed about it. He worked on a special surprise card for two days at school and kept talking about breakfast in bed all week. (Do you know how hard it is to eat cereal and sip coffee in bed with two kids bouncing around on it? Yes, of course you do.)

Here is the card:

It says: "Mommy," at the top and that teensy picture is me. Then it says, "I love you."
"... because you let me watch tv." As pictured.

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This was apparently a popular reason for loving your mom in Colum’s JK class. At least I didn’t get, “because you let me play video games.” Mean anti-video game position vindicated!

And as long as I’m uploading pictures … here’s a solid month’s worth.

My friend Helena suggested I do a compare and contrast, reconstruction kind of thing with old pictures of Irene’s pregnancy. I thought it was a good idea and took a couple shots at 17.5 weeks. I am now 19.5 weeks, but better late than never, right?

Colum and I about three years ago.
Here we are at 17.5 weeks now.

And more shots from that same day:


And because it’s feast or famine with photos here at Playground Confidential, here are some random shots of us at the beach yesterday evening.

And, finally, with all due respect to Charlie Sheen, THIS smile means winning.

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All I Want For Mother’s Day

My goodness, there is a lot of hype out there over Mother’s Day. Every business under the sun is hocking something special for Mom. And every mommy blogger is jostling for a piece of the action: We’re moms! We know what we want. And what do we want? Bluetooth headsets, tote bags, teeth whitening and more. Now far be it from me to take the air out of anyone’s shopping sails, especially when shopping can be done in the name of economic recovery, but it really is a bit much.

If half as much time and energy were put toward forwarding some real mom-friendly initiatives as is spent on marketing for Mother’s Day, we might be lightyears ahead. So here’s a rare and uncharacteristically earnest call to arms at the Playground Confidential. All I want for Mother’s Day is: