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A History of Movement

The kids were  so excited to have a baby sister. Ed took them out to buy her one small infant toy each. “Mommy, can I teach her to walk?” Irene wanted to know. And speech lessons began immediately: “Colum. Cawllll-UM. Colum.” But she mostly just lay there asleep.

Finally, after what must have seemed a yawning eternity, she smiled. Eventually she was actually able to reach for those little baby toys. And somehow, through a series of slow and gradual development, she has now become one of them.

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From, “Oh my gawd, woman, why do you keep laying me down on my tummy?! I can’t see shit from down here.”

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To rolling over all on her own … if only to end up stuck on her tummy, “Why don’t I ever learn. I STILL can’t see shit from here.”

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“Now you’re talking, Mom. It took you long enough to get me some sweet Bumbo action.”

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“Do you think if I just keep kicking my legs like this I might eventually get somewhere? Because those crayons and army guys aren’t going to eat themselves, you know?”

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“Oh hi. Me? Just sitting here, playing it cool. Yeah, that’s right, just sitting up all on my own. Why aren’t you freaking out yet? How awesome am I?!”

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“Alright, off the carpet. Now I’m going places! Aw shit. I’m going backwards, aren’t I?”

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“It’s cool. I totally meant to do this.”

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“Okay, wise guy, I get it. Very funny. Want to put down the camera and help a sister out?”

“Listen, I could totally get down and backwards crawl all around this park if I wanted to. I just don’t want to is all. Don’t think it’s because I don’t know how.”

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“See, I told you I could do it. And check it out, I’m not even going backwards. Not forwards exactly either, but definitely not backwards!”

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And then suddenly, last week, she figured it out. After weeks and weeks of backward crawling and a few days of rocking back and forth on her knees, she finally got the hang of it. She crawls! (Better than either of her sibs ever did, in fact.)

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There she goes again!

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Man, is it ever hard to photograph a crawling baby. Let’s try a video instead.

Er … disregard the last ten seconds in which I can’t figure out how to stop recording.

And life shall never be the same. Again.